A Funny Resume
This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at
a McDonald's restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was
so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky,
I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer
and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm
worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens
and `post-it' notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That's why I'm applying. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would
be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already
be the
winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the
Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks
I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be
doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries.
This Kid will go far...
Cheers |
