20件有些搞笑的小事
2008-04-14
1) How come when you close a glue cap the glue sticks but this same paste does not stick to the sides of the glue tube?
1）为什么把胶水盖盖到胶水管上的时候胶水不会把它们粘在一起？
2) Did you know that according to mental research that has been carried out all over the world twenty-five percent of the population are suffering from one from of mental deficiency or the other? In lay terms, this means that if you have three friends that are sane, you are the one insane!
2）是否听说过这么一项研究报告？全世界人口中的25％都患有精神疾病。这就意味着，如果你有三个精神正常的朋友，那么你就是精神病！
3) If you have either a television or a Video Receiver or a DVD or anything that needs a remote controller, this odd behaviour is familiar. Have you noticed that whenever the batteries begin to get dull, we press down harder? Are we expecting to squeeze more out of them?
3）如果你用过电视机或者DVD的遥控器，那么这种事情你也应该做过。你注没注意过，当电池快要没电的时候，我们总是在很用力的按它？难道我们是认为按得力气大些就可以从里边挤出电来吗?
4) Supposedly the man from the jungle lives in the jungle, yes? Then, how and where did his beard disappear to?
4）想象一下一个来自丛林且旧居丛林的男子，好了？恩，那他的胡子是怎么没的？
5) How is it that no matter how tight you close the shutters of light bulbs, flies or other insects manage to get inside?
5）为什么不论你怎么关灯，苍蝇和其他的昆虫总是能够想方设法的进到你的家里来？
6) Still use plastic bags instead of the more nature-friendly paper ones? Ok. Then, pray tell, why can’t I ever manage to open one on my 1st attempt?
6）还在用塑料袋而没有用环保的纸袋吗？很好。那……说实话，为什么我在第一次用纸袋的时候发现我没办法把它打开？！
7) Why do they use sterilized needles when injecting a convict on death role?
7）为什么他们要用消了毒的注射器给一个死刑犯执行死刑？
8) Why do the banks charge extra if you withdraw more money than is present from your bank account? Don’t they realize that there’s no money in the account?
8)为什么银行要在你超额取款时收取额外的费用？难道他们没意识到你的帐号里已经没钱了吗？
9) Why don’t we ever hear jokes about father-in-laws?
9）为什么大家都没听过岳父的笑话？
10) If people run into a sign near a park bench saying that the paint is wet, every one will touch it to check. If this is so, why don’t these same folk verify the star count of around four billion stars so stated according to various scientists?
10）如果人们碰到一个标有‘油漆未干’的牌子，多半会用手去试一下它是不是湿的。如果这么做有道理，那为什么科学家们不去每天确认一下天上的星星是不是有40亿颗？
11) Why do we return to the refrigerator and gaze in when we know that there’s nothing interesting to eat inside?
11）为什么在明知冰箱里已经没有食物的情况下，我们还要习惯性的打开冰箱门，朝里边看看？
12) Notice how bullets bounce off superman’s chests, but the moment the villain throws the empty revolver, this same invincible superman ducks. Shouldn’t the revolver bounce off his chest too?
12）注意到打到超人胸口的子弹会被弹开，但是当坏人打完了子弹把左轮手枪扔向超人的时候，无所不能的超人却躲开了。难道左轮手枪不应该同样从他的胸口弹开吗？
13) I’m sure you’ve heard of the evolutionary claim that mankind has evolved from monkeys. Before I am to believe this, I want to know that if this is so why are monkeys’ still roaming earth?
13）我肯定你听说过进化论中关于人类是猴子进化而来的观点。但是在我相信它之前，我想知道为什么还有这么多的猴子在世界上逛？
14) Why is it that when we try to catch something that is falling off a table, our hand knocks down something else?
14）为什么当我们去捡一件从桌子上掉下去的东西的时候，我们总是会碰掉另外一样？
15) Why did the Japanese kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
15）为什么神风敢死队的日本飞行员都要戴头盔？
16) Use a vacuum cleaner at home? I do. But, explain to me why I move it over and over a piece of thread in the hopes that it will suck it in. Then, why do I pick up that rope, examine it and then place it back down and retry to suck it in using the vacuum cleaner?
16）在家用过吸尘器没有？我用过，但是你能向我解释一下为什么我会想方设法的把一根线吸进吸尘器中，失败之后，我又拿起了这根线，在仔细看过它之后我把它放回原位，继续试图把它吸进去吗？
17) How come soap bubbles are always white no matter what the color of the soap?
17）为什么不论肥皂是什么颜色的，肥皂泡总是白色的？
18) Aren’t we unnecessarily mental by trying to create summer in our house during winter, and vice verse, when we try and create winter during summer?
18）我们在夏天试图让我们的房子变得像冬天，之后恶习不改，又试图在先夏天让我们的房子变得像冬天，这不是有病吗？
19) Is there any day when mattresses are not on sale?
19）有没有一天我们能不再看到床垫的广告？
20) Isn’t it silly that when if wandering through one of the large shopping malls someone doesn’t pay attention and the cart they are pushing smacks into your toes, and then they say sorry, all we can think of saying is that no harm was done while your toe is aching.
20）当你在超市闲逛，某人不小心推的推车压倒了你的脚，然后他们开始向你道歉，我们所有人都会在脚趾头隐隐作痛的时候想着：我没受伤。这是不是有点蠢？
Before the End:
You have run into about twenty or so intriguing incidents on life that I or some friend of mine has come across. Most will be familiar to you. Some might not. But, I hope that each one of them will if not make you at least laugh, bring a wry smile to your face and to your heart.
结束之前：
前面你读过了20个有趣的小故事，它们都是我和我的一些朋友曾经经历过的。多数可能让你感到熟悉，一些可能会有些陌生。但是我希望它们即使没有让你开怀大笑，也会带给你有浅浅的一笑和心灵上的愉悦。 |
