THEY’RE back.
他们回来了。
Just when parents thought they might finally be free of their children, many of this year’s college graduates will pick up their degrees — and move back home. Even those who don’t may continue to live off the parental dole; at the start of HBO’s hit series “Girls, ” Hannah, played by Lena Dunham, is trying to keep the monthly checks from Mom and Dad coming. The fragile economy could exacerbate the phenomenon of delayed adolescence, keeping Americans in their late 20s and even early 30s dependent on their families for years.
父母们刚想着好不容易能摆脱子女的束缚，成批的本科毕业生早就领了毕业证----直接搬回家了。哪怕是那些不必靠啃老吃饭的，就好像HBO的新热剧集“都市女孩”（Girls）里Lena Dunham饰演的Hannah，尽力要避免父母停了每月一次的接济支票。脆弱的经济状况使青少年的独立进程愈发缓慢，二十好几甚至三十出头的美国人多啃几年老已经不是什么新鲜事。
But this is not necessarily the nightmare scenario it’s made out to be. Our research shows that the closer bonds between young adults and their parents should be celebrated, and do not necessarily compromise the independence of the next generation.
不过这也不是什么糟糕到要让人发噩梦的事。我们的研究表明，年轻人和父母间的关系若是能密切些，应当额首称幸了，也不至于会影响到下一代的独立。
Grown children benefit greatly from parental help. Young adults who received financial, practical and emotional support from their parents reported clearer life goals and more satisfaction than young adults who received less parental support. This support ranged from room and board to making a car available, to parents’ listening to their son or daughter talk about the day.
长大成人后，孩子仍会从父母那里获益良多。报告证实，假使父母从经济上，日常琐事上，心绪感情上都给予孩子相当的支持，这些年轻人相较其他同龄人便会拥有更清晰的人生目标和更充溢的满足感。这种支持从食宿到置车，甚或是聆听子女心事，不一而足。
Twenty-five years ago, young people sought advice and help from naïve peers. Today’s young adults may be savvier than their predecessors; they receive advice and help from middle-aged adults with greater life experience and material resources to offer.
二十五年前，年轻人遇事会向差不多天真幼稚的同龄人征询意见。得至今日，他们比前人可要机敏多了。向中年人讨教无疑能从更丰富的人生经历和物质资源中获得启迪。
This relationship has been evolving over the last generation.
这种关系从上一代人慢慢进化到今日的样子。
In 1986, about half of parents reported that they had spoken with a grown child in the past week. In 2008, 87 percent said they had. In 1988, less than half of parents gave advice to a grown child in the past month, and fewer than one in three had provided any hands-on help. Recent data show that nearly 90 percent of parents give advice and 70 percent provide some type of practical assistance every month.
1986年时，大约半数的父母在报告中声称他们在过去的一周和已成人的孩子有过交谈。到了2008年，这个数字达到了87%。1988年时，不到半数的父母在过去一个月里给成人的孩子提供过建议，而身体力行给予帮助的不到三分之一。近期的数据则显示，近90%的父母会对子女有所忠告，且70%会在每个月都有一些实质的援助。
It turns out that many parents and children want this close contact. We first observed a shift in this relationship in 1999, when the economy was booming. Even before the cellphone era, many 20-something women talked with their mothers several times a week. They discussed boyfriend problems, classes and plans for the future. They brought home their laundry, went shopping with their mothers and even pronounced their mothers (and sometimes their fathers) their “best friends.” Their descriptions might have seemed cloying, yet the mothers involved said that they were thrilled. They took pride in their daughters and reveled in the intimacy.
这么看来，相当多的父母和子女都需要这种密切的联系。我们首先观察了1999年经济蓬发时这种关系的转变。即使是在手机还未普及的年代，许多二十几岁的年轻姑娘仍保持和母亲每周数次通话。她们会交流关于男友，学业，未来等各种问题。她们也会把脏衣服带回家，和母亲一起逛街，甚至宣称母亲（有时候是父亲）是她们的“密友”。这种描述可能让人觉得有些腻得反胃，不过这些获此殊荣的母亲们都表示受宠若惊。她们以女儿为傲，更是醉心于这样的亲昵。
These trends have accelerated over the past 10 years. Adult offspring today text their parents often, befriend them on Facebook and willingly accept emotional support, advice and a financial boost. Young men are as likely to be involved with parents as young women.
此种趋势在过去10年间加速发展。今时今日，成年的儿女与父母短信频频，在非死不可上互加好友，且乐于接受情绪上的支持，建议和经济支援。年轻男性也逐渐向女同胞们和父母相处的方式靠拢。
The benefits of parental involvement are not surprising from a global perspective. In other cultures and among many ethnic subcultures in America, young adults are expected to be intensely involved with their parents. Romantic relationships and marriage were the ties of primary importance in the United States during the 20th century. But in this new century, with delays in marriage, more Americans choosing to remain single, and high divorce rates, a tie to a parent may be the most important bond in a young adult’s life.
在整个世界来看，父母介入子女生活的好处也是显而易见。即使在美国其他种族和文化北京中，年轻人也理应和父母保持频繁的联系。二十世纪时，恋爱和婚姻在人际关系中是处于首位的。但身处新世纪，婚龄推迟，更多美国人维持单身状态，离婚率亦居高不下，于是对年轻人来说，与父母间纽带的重要性便极大提高，甚至跃居首位。
Technological and economic developments have contributed to this shift. Nationwide cellphone calling plans and e-mail ease communication. Young people spend extra years in school to pursue well-paying careers. Teenagers who don’t go on to higher education need even more parental support while they work at low-paying jobs with irregular hours. The economic downturn did not push kids out of the family.
科技和经济的发展也促进了这种转变。比如能全国范围拨打的手机套餐和迅捷的电邮沟通方式。为了高薪的工作，年轻人会在象牙塔中多逗留几年。而不接受高等教育的青少年需要在非朝九晚五的时段工作，薪资也相对较少，故而他们需要更多来自父母的支持。因此，经济不景气也并未使孩子与家人疏远。
Although this parental support seems to be a good thing, the new arrangements also rankle many people and violate ideals of autonomy that have long prevailed in this nation.
虽然父母方面的支持看似无可挑剔，然而这种新的相处格局还是惹恼了一些人，因其的确有损在这个国度盛行已久的理想化自立模式。
In our surveys, parents and grown children alike reported uneasiness, viewing intense parental support in adulthood as a sign of damaging over-involvement. Parents reported less satisfaction about their own lives if they believed their children were too dependent. The problem isn’t with the help, per se, but with viewing that support as abnormal and worrying that it could cause harm. Maybe we just need to get over this discomfort.
在我们的调查中，父母和成人的子女也会表达他们对过激支持及过度介入的不适。父母表示，如果子女太依赖他们，自己的生活满意度便有所损减。问题不是出在帮助本身，而是把这类支持界定为非正常，且担心会造成负面影响。也许我们只是要克服这种不适。
In fact, we could be celebrating the strong bonds between today’s young people and their parents, rather than lamenting the foibles of the next generation. Forty years ago, the news media were filled with reports of a generation gap. Let’s be grateful that we’ve finally solved that problem.
其实，享受今日两代人间紧密联系的好处，远胜过为下一代性格上的小缺陷而神伤。四十年前，新闻媒体充斥着关于代沟的报道。现在我们还是先庆祝一下终于解决了这个问题吧。
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