ZHEN AI used a conventional method to uncover the truth about her husband’s “business trips”. She logged on to his computer. But what Ms Zhen, who was three months pregnant at the time, found was beyond her imaginings. She saw photos of her husband in some of China’s most exotic settings—Tibet, Hangzhou and Yunnan province—with another man. The pictures of them together in bed were particularly devastating.
文中的姓名均为随机音译，请勿对号入座甄爱用了一种非常老套的方法发现了他丈夫“出差”的秘密。她登录了丈夫的电脑。但是甄爱发现事实完全出乎了自己的预料，此时的她已经怀孕3个月。她发现丈夫和另一个男人在中国最有情调的几个城市西藏、杭州、云南之间的留影。最让她崩溃的是他们一起在床上的照片。
Ms Zhen, who is now 30 years old and prefers to use a pseudonym, is one of an estimated 16m straight women who are married to gay men in China. Zhang Beichuan, a scholar, estimates that more than 70% of gay men marry straight women. Using census data from 2011, Mr Zhang estimates that somewhere between 2-5% of Chinese men over the age of 15 are gay, or between 11m and 29m. The women who marry them are known astongqi, which might be translated as “homo-wife”, using “homo-” for same.
甄爱是甄女士的化名。在中国大约有1600万的非同性恋女性嫁给了同性恋男性，今天30岁的甄女士便是其中之一。据同性恋问题的研究专家张北川估计，大约有70%的男同志娶了非同性恋妻子。根据2011年的普查资料，张先生估计在15岁以上的中国男性中，大约2-5%是同性恋，约在1100万到2900万人之间。嫁给男同志的女人们被称为“同妻”，“同”指的就是“同性恋”。
Tolerance is on the rise in major cities. Shanghai had its fourth Pride festival in June. Earlier this month the national ministry of health announced that lesbians will be permitted to donate blood.
大城市对同性恋的宽容度在逐渐上升。在6月份上海刚举行了同志骄傲周活动。本月上旬中国卫生部还宣布了允许女同性恋献血。
Yet intolerance still prevails. Homosexuality was only removed from the health ministry’s list of mental illnesses in 2001. In rural regions, the belief that homosexuality is a treatable disease is still widespread.
但是大部分的人还是不能接受同性恋。直到2001年，国家卫生部才把同性恋从精神疾病的名列中移除。在农村地区，认为同性恋是一种可以治愈的疾病的观念仍旧非常普遍。
It did not occur to Ms Zhen that her husband could be gay, though there were signs. She recalls inadvertently resting her hand on his arm during a movie date. “I felt him flinch, but he endured it”, she says. Though confused by his lack of intimacy, she found his considerate nature to be endearing. She hoped the passion would grow after he proposed. What followed instead was an icy marriage, frequent business trips and a perfunctory sex life.
虽然曾经也有一些迹象，但甄女士从来没想过自己的丈夫居然是一个同志。她回想起来有一次和他约会看电影的时候，她不经意地把自己的手靠在他的手臂上，她说：“我感到他有点退缩，但他还是忍住了。”虽然他们之间缺乏亲昵的行为让她感到有点困惑，但是他觉得丈夫的温柔体贴的性格很吸引她。她寄希望于求婚以后她们之间会变得更亲近。可是随之而来的却是一场冷淡的婚姻，以及频繁的出差和敷衍了事的性生活。
After finding the photos, Ms Zhen found temporary solace in an onlinetongqisupport group. Luck again abandoned her. This month, her signature joins 50 others on an open letter accusing the website tongqijiayuan.com of scamming its members out of 90, 000 yuan ($14, 000) in total. Ms Zhen lost 2, 000 yuan. “We’ve realised [the site’s] owners were taking advantage of our fragile emotions and low social status, ” the joint letter reads.
在发现了这些照片之后，甄女士在一叫做中国同妻家园的网站上找到了一点暂时的安慰。然而幸运之神又背弃了她。就在这个月，她和其他50个人在中国同妻家园网站上联名发表了一封公开信，信中控诉该网站诈骗其会员共计90000人民币。甄女士被骗了2000元。这封信中说：“我们意识到该网站的主人在利用我们脆弱的情感和底下的社会身份。”
It is especially difficult for Chinese men to come out to their families. Traditional beliefs about the importance of maintaining bloodlines permeate society, which regards homosexuality as unfilial. Yang Shaogang, a Shanghai-based lawyer who specialises intongqicases, counselled five women last year after they contracted HIV from their husbands. The only way to prevent this sort of tragedy from befalling such women, he says, is calling for more tolerance so gay men won’t feel forced to enter marriage in the first place.
中国的男人想要脱离家庭是非常困难的。关于传宗接代的重要性这样的传统观念已深入社会。这就使得男同志被人们认为是不孝的。一位专门关注同妻案件的上海律师杨绍钢，去年为5位从丈夫那里感染了艾滋病的妻子提供了法律咨询。他说能够阻止类似的悲剧发生在这类女性身上的唯一办法就是给男同志们多一些宽容，这样他们在一开始就无需被破开始一段婚姻了。
In recent years some have found a solution, of sorts. Chinagayles.com, a website with some 153, 000 members, helps gay men meet lesbian women for matrimonial purposes. Individuals upload personal details, such as monthly income, hobbies and Zodiac signs. Some seek cohabitation without sexual contact. Others want children.
近几年有人发现了一些新的解决办法。中国形式婚姻网拥有153000个会员，它为有婚姻需求的男同志和女同志牵线搭桥。人们可以通过上传个人信息，比如月收入，兴趣，星座生肖等信息。有些人寻求无性的同居生活，还有一些人想要孩子。
Zhuang Xiang, a 30-year-old accountant from Shanghai, came to understand why he was drawn to boys when he was 17. On flicking through a gay comic book in a shop, he had his great “a-ha!” moment. He met his boyfriend in 2004. And then he married his lesbian wife in 2009. He and his wife don’t live together, but they visit each other’s parents once a week. Mr Zhuang even keeps some of her clothes on display at home, in case of unannounced visitors.
庄翔今年30岁，是一个来自上海的会计师。在自己17岁的时候，他终于明白自己为什么老是被男孩子吸引。在店里快速的翻看过一本同志漫画后，他感到了一阵醍醐灌顶。他在04年的时候遇见了自己的男朋友，然后再09年时他和自己的女同性恋妻子结婚了。他们两个不住在一起，但是每周他们都会去看望双方的家长。庄先生还会在屋子里放一些妻子的衣物，以防突然到访的不速之客。
Mr Zhuang says he is lucky to live in a big city like Shanghai, where such a solution is possible. But he wants to live in a country where gay men are accepted. His parents have started to talk about a grandchild. Mr Zhuang and his lesbian wife will likely get a forged certificate of infertility. Keeping up the appearance of their marriage feels like a never-ending battle, he says. But sometimes lies are more sensible than the truth.
庄先生说他很幸运可以生活在像上海一样的大城市，在这儿这样的方案行得通。但是他想生活在一个男同志也可以被接受的国家。他的父母开始讨论关于“抱孙子”的问题了。庄先生和他的女同妻子很可能会去搞一张假的不孕症证明。他说维持他们表面的婚姻就像是一场永无止境的斗争。但有时候，谎言比真实更容易被察觉。
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