1. The first best friend you made in college
1. 你在大学里交的第一个好朋友
Everyone knows the first best friend you make in college eventually becomes YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE. Delete, delete, delete. Besides, you already know what they’ve been up to thanks to Facebook. They’re living in Clovis, California and working at an ice cream shop called Fro-Yo-No-No.
每个人都知道你在大学里交的第一个好朋友最后都会成为你最恐怖的噩梦。删除，删除，删除。除此之外，你通过facebook知道他们做了些什么。他们住在加利福利亚洲的克洛维斯，在一个叫做Fro-Yo-No-No的冰淇淋店上班。
2. The guy you used to buy drugs from in 2008
2. 在2008年，你经常为他买毒品的人
HE’S DEAD. Or you slept with him once and can’t show your face again.
他死了，或者说有一次你和他睡在一起，以后就再也没有见过他了。
3. The person who you honestly don’t know
3. 你根本不了解的那个人
Who is Chelsea Meyer? You’ve tried Googling her but nothing comes up other than an obituary for a 94-year-old woman from Worcester, Massachusetts. In frustrated moments, you fantasize texting them to find out the truth but nobody’s ever that brazen in 2013. My friends won’t even answer private numbers.
谁是切尔西.迈耶？你试着在网上搜索她的信息，但是除了一个来自马萨诸塞州伍斯特的94岁老妇女的死亡讣告之外，什么也没有。在那个令人沮丧的时刻，你幻想着通过发短信来找到真相，但是没有人在2013年会那么的厚脸皮。我的那个朋友甚至连一个私人号码都不会给。
4. The person who’s listed under “Don’t answer”
4. 列在“不要答复”项下的人
Everybody’s got one, right? Mine is a person who came up to me in a gay bar in West Hollywood once and told me to stand up. Without thinking, I just did as told and then the guy stared me up and down and asked me if I was interested in modeling. (Hold your horses. This is not a #humblebrag. I had just gotten hit by a car and was wearing a cast, for god’s sakes!) I told him maybe and he asked for my number. Long story short, I found out he wasn’t a model scout or a photographer. He was a waiter at a restaurant called The Farm. It took a series of texts of me asking him, “No, but like what do you actually do for a living?” to figure that one out and when I did, I bid farewell to my dreams of becoming America’s Next Top Model and never spoke to the guy again.
每个人都会有一个的，对吗？我的那个人是在西好莱坞同性恋酒吧找到我的，他要我站起来。没有思考我就按照他的说法做了，然后那个家伙就上下打量我，问我是否对造型感兴趣（等等，这不是humblebrag。我刚刚被车撞了，打着石膏， 天哪！）。我告诉他可能吧，他就要了我的号码。长话短说， 我发现他并不是一个发掘者，也不是一个摄影师。他是饭店的一个服务员，叫做The Farm。我发了一些短信问他，“不是，但是你到底是干什么的？”，我猜出来了，我不再梦想着有一天能够成为美国的下一个顶级模特，于是再也没有和那个家伙联系过。
5. An acquaintance from high school
5. 高中的一个熟人
Because no. Also, how do you still somehow know their number by heart and not your own parents?
因为没有。不知道什么原因你在心里记住了那个号码，而不是你父母的号码，这时你该怎么做？
6. The person you lost your virginity to
6. 让你失去童贞的那个人
What could you possibly text them? “Hey, have you had sex with anyone since me?!!!” Or: “After we had sex for the first time, I weeped silently in the space between the wall and your bed. Happy New Years! LOVE N’ LIGHT!”
你给他发短信可能会说些什么？“嗨，自从我之后你和别人有过性生活吗？！！！”或：“在我的第一次性生活经历之后，我站在墙壁和你的床之间默默地流泪。新年快乐！爱死那个晚上了！”。
7. Your friend’s ex-boyfriend
7. 你朋友的前男友
You’re not even sure how or why you got their number. Your friend must’ve not had their phone one night and suggested that you contact their BF if you want to get ahold of them. Regardless, the number is now useless. Why would you ever need to contact your friend’s ex other than to maybe send a text that says, “YOU RUINED MY FRIEND’S LIFE!!!aDFKMNBRJRT9R!!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!”
你甚至不能确定你是怎样或者说为什么会有他们的号码的。你的朋友在一个晚上之后就不再有那些号码了，并且建议如果你想这么做的话，你可以联系他们的前男友了。不管怎样，这个号码现在没有用了。为什么你那时需要联系你朋友的前任，除了可能发送一条这样内容的短信：“你毁了我朋友的生活！！！aDFKMNBRJRT9R！！！！你知道你做了什么！”
8. That person you used to hook up with during that weird time in your life
8. 在你生命的一段很奇怪的时间段中，你经常约会的那个人
This guy never met your friends. You never went on a date. All you know is his apartment, the fact that he likes to eat rice pudding after sex and has a plethora of intimacy issues. His number represents a different #dark time for you. It’s a reminder of what you don’t want so just purge the motherfucker.
那个家伙从来不见你的朋友。你从来不去约会。所有你知道的就是他的公寓，他喜欢在做爱后吃大米布丁，还有许多亲密关系的问题。他的号码意味着你的一段黑暗的时光。它提醒着你不想做的何事情，除了清除掉那个混帐东西。
9. Your most recent ex
9. 你最后的那位前任
Only necessary if you’re still texting them the lyrics to Lisa Loeb’s “Stay” after drinking three glasses of wine.
如果还有必要留着这个人的号码的话，除非是在你喝掉3杯酒之后，仍然给他发信息，内容是丽莎“Stay"的歌词。
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