作者: 爱尔兰都柏林大学 赖小琪
最近邮件多得不得了, 首先是因为大家误以为六一儿童节是我的生日, 结果狂发电子贺卡到我的邮箱, 从前几天开始, 我每天都收到几十封, 然后每封都要回复, 回到手都软了. Facebook上也有很多老外同学给我留言, 也要一一回复. 其实虽然六一儿童节是我的生日, 可是我在老家一般过农历的, 不是过阳历的, 所以其实我的生日还没到, 呵呵. 另外还收到了很多不同类型的邮件, 有诉苦的, 有讨论一些社会或者生活问题的, 也有讨论英语学习的, 有讨论出国的, 等等. 特别是昨晚我发表了一篇名叫 “一个网友的信件” 的日记, 引起强烈的反响, 不仅空间访问量和留言激增, 还有很多人发邮件到我的邮箱和我向表达他们的看法. 看着大家这么热情高涨地谈天说地, 针砭时弊, 真的让我感到非常有趣. 不过有些朋友的邮件的确引发了我很多深思, 也让我越来越体会到, 原来自己真的很幸福, 这个世界上比自己不幸的人真的很多很我. 所以我更要珍惜眼前的生活.
下面这封信是来自深大一位读大三的师弟的. 之所以把他的信和我的回复放到这篇日记, 是因为一直以来都有很多师弟师妹问我这个问题, 而我却没有时间为他们一一解答. 所以借此机会, 我想通过这篇日记来解答相关朋友的问题. 当然这只是我的个人想法, 由于我经验和阅历有限, 可能有些地方考虑得不全面, 所以仅供参考! 还有, 别人写邮件给我, 我一般是用英文回复的, 所以不懂得看英文的朋友不要写邮件给我(其实是开玩笑的, 不要当真, 欢迎你们写邮件给我, 也希望我可以帮得上大家, 呵呵)
_____________________________________________
信件正文:
小琪师兄：
你真的是儿童节出生的吗？？？！！
有空聊一聊关于出国的选择吗？大一的时候，我舅舅就开始支持我出国，可是由于我没有出色的成绩，聪明的脑袋，我一直怕出去转一圈之后回来还是碌碌无为，浪费了那么大笔的出国费用，加上自己的身子骨也很弱。所以大一的时候也就没有努力去准备出国的事，转学出国的打算也就搁浅了。但心里始终是处于一种矛盾的状态，一边是想着要是出国的话，有可能成为与国际接轨的复合型人才，就有机会干出一番大事业，一边又是残酷的现实，出国后回来庸碌无为的海带大有人在。出国那么大笔的花费，算上现在的通货膨胀，要多少年才能捞回这笔教育投资啊？我是个行动力总是欠缺，理性有限的人，即使我能很清楚地认识到自己的不足和应该努力的方向自己也是走走停停，因为我的确害怕失败，更害怕很努力了结果是要我承认这是智商问题。我真的很希望，哪一天可以像面对中国人一样与外国人自由交流，那种地球村的理念真的很好，到那时，我就可以很坦然地面对未来，面对差距，面对不同的肤色和种族••••••那时，尽管我还是这个地球上渺小一员，没有变地伟大，没有变地渺小，可是我俯瞰世界时就会发现，其实我们真的没有距离。一同为自己想要的生活努力，一同为全人类的进步贡献绵薄的力量。等到这个时候，我就不会有那么多的纠结与比较。看淡生活的得失，更在注重活着的价值。所以，走出国门是我的理想，但我不希望背负那么多的负担，毕竟是舅舅在支持我，他的期望就是我能成就大事业。这种压力不仅让我行动更为迟缓，还更加焦虑。庸人自扰，这就是我这个笨小孩的天性吧。
小琪师兄，你说出国，考研，创业，就业。我该如何做出自己义无反顾的选择？我知道这个话题太大了，可以跟我分享一下你做出选择时的思考吗？
我的回复:
Dear friend,
It is really nice to receive your mail again! Yes I was born on Children’s Day, but I did not regard June 1st as my birthday because the customary acknowledged birthday in my hometown is the day on lunar calendar, not the solar calendar. I think you’ve gasped what I am saying, right? So my birthday is still not coming yet but also not far, just around the corner days later. Anyway, thank you very much for the earnest wishes you guys have bestowed upon me! I am feeling like I am on top of the world today! Haha~~
Talking of studying abroad, though I am already here in Ireland, I still cannot give you an absolute answer to whether it is a worthy choice or not. For one thing, as you may see in many compositions in CET4 or CET6 or IELTS, every coin has two sides and nothing is flawlessly positive. As you mention in your mail, you have witnessed a wealth of the so-called “sea turtles” being nothing but ordinary without any achievements. But I believe if you look at all the “sea turtles” as a group, you will also be astounded by many excellent people who have fulfilled huge accomplishments! So it is not justified to judge something good or bad merely on the basis of what you have seen around you. Rather, you have to see the issue in a large scope. For another, I feel kind of shamed to say that even though I am already in Ireland now, I still feel somewhat confused about my future because I still have not pinpointed my career orientation and am under way to seek it. But one thing I can assure you of is that I’ve never regretted my coming here to study! It has given me a very special international experience that I will by no means forget in my life. Also I do believe my overseas education will equip myself with the wings I need to fly into a higher sky! So in a word (an obsolete phrase, right?), it is what you are doing, instead of what you are deeming, that makes the overseas education meaningful!
You are so lucky that there is still someone supporting you to study overseas both mentally and financially! So if you really decide to study overseas, you must prepare for the IELTS or TOEFL as soon as possible ’cause these exams are very difficult and need a long time to prepare. So a quick and confirmed decision is very demanding for the moment!
As a matter of fact, there is no need to feel pressured by your uncle’s expectation. As far as I know you, you are also an ambitious guy who is seeking to be gloriously different from your peers, right? So your uncle’s expectation to you is actually the reflection of your inner desire. Just turn all others’ expectations into motivation that spurs you to march forward boldly. To be honest, I am also faced with tons of pressure stemming from my families and friends (including you, lol~~), but oftentimes I just let it be because I do not want to be bothered by such controllable stuff!
Talking of whether you should continue your postgraduate studies or plunge into work, I am not that experienced as you deem to provide you with practical advice. It is totally up to yourself. But one thing I am sure of is that no one will regret he has “studied too much” in the future! Haha!
I hope my advice helps and if you decide to go overseas studying and need some help from me, please feel free to let me know!
All the best
Edison |
