Do you have chronic money problems? Spend too much? Give too much to your good-for-nothing kids? Keep putting off writing or updating your will?
理财方面，你有没有某种“痼疾”呢？花钱太多？给啥也不会干的孩子太多钱？一直磨磨蹭蹭，不愿写（或更新）遗嘱？
Maybe it's all in your head. Really.
也许这些问题全都源于你的大脑。真的。
Financial advisers and therapists have identified a number of psychologically-based mistakes people make with their money.
理财顾问和治疗师已经发现了许多基于心理的理财误区。
'How you feel is how you deal…with money, that is, ' says New York psychotherapist Karol Ward, whose six-figure clients help other people make money but find it difficult to hold on to their own.
纽约的心理治疗师卡罗尔•沃德(Karol Ward)表示：“你的心理会决定你怎样对待……金钱。”沃德的客户中有一些是年薪达六位数的人，他们帮助其他人赚钱，却发现很难管好自己的钱。
Here are a few of the most common psychological problems people have with their finances─and what you can do about them:
以下是人们在理财方面最常遇到几个心理问题──我们还将谈到如何克服这些问题：
1. Overspending
1. 乱花钱
Ms. Ward worked with a young woman who wanted a relationship but had 'deep pain' from her childhood around trusting others. Most of the woman's evenings after work were spent wandering through stores shopping for clothes she didn't need, recalls Ms. Ward.
沃德曾为一位年轻女士做过咨询，这位女士想建立恋爱关系，但童年时遭受的“深切伤痛”导致她无法信任别人。沃德回忆道，这位女士晚上下班后大都在逛商店，购买她并不需要的衣服。
When she came to see Ms. Ward, she wanted to get out of debt and manage her money. During therapy she uncovered the connection between her fear and loneliness and the overspending.
当她来找沃德咨询时，她想摆脱债务，把她的钱管理好。在治疗中，她发现了自己的恐惧和孤单与乱花钱之间的联系。
Overspending usually is related to the management of emotional pain, distorted beliefs about what people feel they deserve and a disconnection between the impulse to buy and the actual results of the purchase, says Ms. Ward.
沃德说，乱花钱通常与伤痛情绪管理不当、对自己应有生活方式认识扭曲以及购物冲动和购物实际结果错位等因素有关。
'Many overspenders don't need what they buy─they just feel they have to buy it, ' she says.
她说：“许多乱花钱的人并不需要他们购买的东西──他们只是觉得非买不可。”
Financial planner Timothy McGrath has seen many clients overspend because they want to live a similar lifestyle to their neighbors or co-workers, while not recognizing that everyone's financial circumstances are different.
芝加哥的理财规划师蒂莫西•麦格拉思(Timothy McGrath)见到过许多花钱无度的客户，因为他们想拥有与邻居或同事相似的生活方式，却没能认识到每个人的财务状况都是不同的。
'Clients often don't realize how purchases outside of their means will impact long-term planning, ' says Mr. McGrath in Chicago.
麦格拉思说：“客户通常意识不到，购物超出承受能力会影响长期理财规划。”
Once clients are aware of their behavior they can work to change it, says Ms. Ward. Before buying, people might ask themselves 'What am I really feeling?' or 'Why do I want to buy this?' she says.
沃德说，客户一旦对自己的行为有了意识，就能够采取措施去改变行为。她说，买东西之前可以问问自己“我的真实感觉是什么”，或者“我为什么想买这个东西”。
Marty Martin, a financial psychologist in Chicago, advises clients who feel the need to spend, but are in a heightened emotional state, to wait to make a decision.
芝加哥理财心理学家马蒂•马丁(Marty Martin)对客户的建议是，如果感觉有必要花钱买东西，但当时情绪处于冲动状态，那就等一等再作决定。
'Collect yourself by distracting yourself by meditating, praying, engaging in some physical activity or doing something other than making a money decision, ' he says.
他说：“可以通过冥想、祈祷、投入某项体育活动或者做一些与购物决定无关的事情来分散注意力，让自己平静下来。”
2. Enabling
2. 过度接济
Financial enabling is a common trap for parents who want to help their adult children who are in chronic financial trouble, says Brad Klontz, a Lihue, Hawaii, financial psychologist.
夏威夷利胡埃(Lihue)的理财心理学家布拉德•克朗茨(Brad Klontz)称，想要为长期面临财务问题的成年子女提供帮助的父母常常会落入过度接济的陷阱。
Mr. Klontz worked with a 75-year-old woman who had given her 52-year-old son a total of $150, 000 over five years for various business ventures, all of which were ill-conceived and failed. She was having trouble saying 'no' when the son asked for another $50, 000, even though her own financial security was at risk as her savings were dwindling.
克朗茨曾为一名75岁的女士做过咨询，这位女士曾在五年里给52岁的儿子总计15万美元资金，供他做各种各样的生意，所有生意都考虑不周，并以失败告终。尽管储蓄逐渐减少令她自己的财务安全面临风险，但当儿子一次又一次索要五万美元时，她却很难开口说不。
'Money for doing nothing creates more doing nothing, ' says Mr. Klontz.
克朗茨说：“把钱给别人去做毫无价值的事只会产生更多毫无价值的事。”
Laura Scharr-Bykowsky has seen many grandparents rack up large amounts of credit-card debt and give away the last of their savings to fund their grandchildren's tuition or vacations.
南卡罗来纳州哥伦比亚(Columbia)的理财规划师劳拉•沙尔-贝科夫斯基(Laura Scharr-Bykowsky)见过许多祖父母为帮孙辈支付学费或供他们度假而背负了巨额信用卡债务，或者用尽了最后的存款。
They may have a desire to spoil their children or grandchildren, want to get their attention, don't want to renege on a promise they made when they were in a better financial situation or feel guilty for not seeing them more, says Ms. Scharr-Bykowsky, a financial planner in Columbia, S.C.
沙尔-贝科夫斯基说，他们可能想去宠爱儿女或孙辈，想赢得他们的注意，不想背弃财务状况较好时许下的承诺，或者为不能常与他们见面而感到内疚。
If enabling has been going on for years, it can be difficult to stop doing it 'cold turkey, ' says Mr. Klontz. For enablers, it can be important to recognize that their efforts to help backfired or have been reinforcing dependence.
克朗茨说，如果接济的行为已经持续多年，那么就很难突然戒断。接济者应该认识到，他们对别人的帮助其实会产生事与愿违的后果，或者加剧对方的依赖。
Mr. Klontz says it's also important to set up a timeline to withdraw financial support, say, in six months, and perhaps explore other ways to help such as paying for a financial plan, a career counselor or a therapist.
克朗茨说，设定取消财务支持的最后期限也很重要，比如六个月，此外，还可以探寻其他援助方式，比如为一项理财计划以及聘请职业生涯顾问或治疗师埋单。
Ms. Scharr-Bykowsky counsels clients to reduce support to their kids and stop altogether when they are gainfully employed. Then, she says, the parents can make gifts periodically, but only if their adult child is being financially responsible.
沙尔-贝科夫斯基建议客户减少对子女的资助，并在子女找到有酬工作后完全停止资助。她说，之后父母可以进行定期性赠与，但前提是成年子女要负起财务责任。
'The most important word they need to use is 'no' or else they'll have an entitlement problem to deal with, ' says Ms. Scharr-Bykowsky.
沙尔-贝科夫斯基说：“他们应该使用的最重要的词是‘不’，否则就会使自己的权益受损。”
3. Denying
3. 否认现实
Financial planner Peg Eddy has seen several clients try to deny the reality of their financial situation and think everything 'will all work out.'
圣迭戈(San Diego)的理财规划师佩格•埃迪(Peg Eddy)曾碰到过几位试图否认自己的财务状况、认为“车到山前必有路”的客户。
'Amazingly, some folks think there is a 'money fairy' that will bail them out when they reach 65 and they only have Social Security to depend on, ' says the San Diego financial planner.
埃迪称：“这些人的想法很奇怪，他们认为等自己到了65岁、只有社会保险可以依赖时会有‘金钱仙女’来搭救他们。”
This form of denial combined with lethargy leads to not doing any planning but potentially becoming a burden later on to any children or family they may have.
这种否认现实的思想再加上懒惰，就会导致一些人不做任何规划，但他们之后可能会成为子女或家人的负担。
She's also seen denial take the form of people's failures to create or update their estate plans.
她认为，否认现实还有一种表现形式，这就是没能制定或更新遗产计划。
That happened to a man she worked with who didn't want to update his estate plan and died suddenly at age 54. His wife and children were left struggling.
埃迪的一位客户就是这种情况，这位男士不想更新遗产计划，后来在54岁的时候突然去世了，给他的妻子和儿女留下了一大堆难题。
People may not have an estate plan because they find it too upsetting to think about or they don't know whom to name as their children's guardians, says Lauren Lindsay, a financial planner in Covington, La.
路易斯安那州卡温顿(Covington)的理财规划师劳伦•林赛(Lauren Lindsay)表示，人们可能因为认为考虑写遗嘱的事太伤心，或者不知道把谁作为孩子的监护人，因此而没有遗产计划。
'The problem is that the state will have a plan if you don't and it may not follow your wishes, ' she says.
她说：“问题在于，如果你没有计划的话，国家会有一个计划，而且这个计划可能不会遵照你的意愿。”
Namely, it wouldn't include any charitable considerations or know if there are any immediate family members who you don't wish to be involved, she says.
她解释说，国家不会在遗产处置方案中考虑慈善捐赠，也不知道你想把哪一位直系亲属排除在继承人之外。
Often the 'social taboo' around talking about money keeps family members from discussing inheritance and estate issues openly before anything happens, and while there is still a chance to hear everyone out and include them in the planning, says Mary Gresham, an Atlanta psychologist.
亚特兰大的心理学家玛丽•格雷沙姆(Mary Gresham)表示，在谈论金钱问题方面的“社会禁忌”通常导致家庭成员不愿在某些事情发生之前，在仍有机会听取每个人的意见、并把他们列入计划中时开诚布公地讨论继承或遗产问题。
To make this conversation easier, a person might introduce the topic by saying, 'I'd like to talk about something that is hard to talk about, ' so the other person knows it's not just a casual conversation, she says.
她说，要想让这类对话容易一些，可以这样引入话题，可以说，“我想谈一件不太好说的事情”，这样对方就会知道这不仅仅是随随便便的对话。
Judy Lawrence tells clients to 'step up and face the numbers' of their real financial picture. That way, they can create a plan based on their true income, outline a way to gradually pay off debt and save for retirement, says the Albuquerque, N.M., financial counselor.
新墨西哥州阿尔伯克基(Albuquerque)的理财顾问朱迪•劳伦斯(Judy Lawrence)让客户“迈进一步，面对真实财务状况，面对其中的数字”。劳伦斯称，这样一来，他们就能根据真实的收入来制定计划，拟出一种逐步偿还债务、为退休储蓄的方案。
Ms. Eddy recommends that clients accept their own mortality and plan for what happens in the event of an emergency, disability or death. They can start by having a good estate plan, update beneficiaries on their accounts and if they own a business, continue to work on their exit strategy during their lifetime.
埃迪建议客户接受人终有一死的事实，为紧急事件、残疾或死亡做计划。他们可以从制定妥善的遗产计划着手，之后可以更新受益人名单，如果拥有公司，可以在有生之年持续制定退出策略。
|
