No, instead, I was a creepy, henchman-style Spiderman who liked to slowly sneak up on my son from the other side of the room while he watched me lurk toward him the whole time.
上个周末我叔叔 Al 给杰克买了uige玩具蜘蛛侠 (曲棍球？）面具。虽然它对于我儿子来说有点太大了，但我戴起来的话还算比较合适。所以，自然而然的，我变身成了“蜘蛛侠”。不过不是为大家所熟知所爱戴的友好热心的那位。相反，我这个令人毛骨悚然的蜘蛛侍从喜欢在我儿子看到我慢慢朝他爬过去时，突然从房间的另一边向他发起突袭。
Imagine being a 19 month-old toddler and seeing your dad wearing a Spiderman mask while saying your name through his teeth as he eventually grabs your leg and pretends to eat it.
让我们设想一下一个19个月大的幼儿 看到戴着蜘蛛侠面具的爸爸一边从牙缝中挤出自己的名字一边抓住自己的小腿并假装会吃下它。他会是一个怎样的表情？正式声明，杰克没有被吓坏。他不会需要这样的辅导。 （至少目前，我不这么认为......。）
I could tell it was a thrill for him. He did like it, though he definitely had to remind himself that it wasn’t actually a crossbreed between Jason Voorhees and Spiderman.
我可以看出他很是惊喜。尽管他不得不要提醒自己眼前的实际上不是杰森沃里斯和蜘蛛侠杂交后的产物，但他确实喜欢它。
Jack has always been a very mellow kid and sometimes I enjoy the challenge of finding new ways to get him to laugh through my idiotic behavior.
杰克是一个非常醇厚的孩子，有时，我很享受搜寻让他通过我的白痴般的行为大笑的新方法而带来的挑战。在设法让自己看起来心理上不稳定的过程，我得以通过制定详细计划使得情况变得更糟。
After a couple of months of meeting Mr. Teeth, some of Jack’s friends have finally started doing it back when I walk in now.
我不只是单单喜欢吓我自己的小孩，我喜欢吓所有的小孩。当我走进杰克的托儿所时，对于杰克的朋友来说我成为了"牙齿先生"。它没有嘴唇，其最大的特征就是不断上下舞动的牙齿。在和"牙齿先生"相处了几个月后，几个杰克的小朋友最终当我走进杰克的托儿所时也开始做出相应的动作。
What I love is she just stares right back at me as if to say, “You’re no big deal. I’m not afraid of you.”
我一岁大的侄女calla，一直把我认作“貂叔叔”。我竭尽所能作出最狰狞的鬼脸，相信我，这也是极为难看的，我直勾勾的盯着她的脸，以检查她是否有所反应。而我最喜欢的一点就是她只会直勾勾的盯回我，好像还是在说：“你也没什么大不了的，我一点也不怕你。”
To toddlers and babies, I am the equivalent to those monsters in the book Where The Wild Things Are. Friendly and harmless, yet still technically a monster.
对于蹒跚学步的婴儿和小孩子来说 我仅相当于《那些野生东西都在哪里》一书中的怪物。虽然从技术上讲仍然是一个怪物，但友好，无害。
Kids like to be surprised. So with my mildly scaring them, I help them test their limits and at the same time entertain them in a fresh new way.
孩子们喜欢惊奇。所以我适度地吓唬他们，我一边帮他们测试自己的极限，一边以全新的方式给他们带来欢乐。
So far, I have only made one kid cry because of my antics. And he cried for like 20 minutes… after I left the room and got out of sight.
到目前为止，只有一个孩子被我的滑稽动作弄哭了。 在我离开了屋子并且在他的视野里消失后，他还哭了20分钟…
It was bad.
这太糟了。
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