Isn't it interesting how we expect others to behave in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves? And then when people don't behave as we want them to, we feel so disappointed and angry -- when really, most times, we're not actually surprised at their actions? In fact, when we find out what latest, greatest act they've pulled, there is some part of us that usually says, 'I knew it!' And we did. We're not typically surprised; we just want those actions to be different -- actions we'd be more comfortable with.
当我们如何地希望其他人能按某种方式表现，这样我们能自我感觉良好，难道这不有趣吗？然后当人们没按我们的要求表现时，我们会感到失望和愤怒—而大多数时候我们实际上对他们的行为又不惊讶？事实上，当我们发现他们最近的，最好的举动时，我们的某些人通常会说：“我早就知道了！”我们确实是。我们并不惊讶；我们只是想要那么举动不一样—能让我们觉得更舒适。
A dear friend of mine was over this week so I could share with her a wonderful home-cooked meal and a bottle of wine. About the time we got to the freshly-baked oatmeal cookies, the conversation turned to her somewhat crazy sister. I had to smile, just a little, since her sister-stories have had much the same theme for the last two decades.
我的一位亲密朋友这周干完了工作，所以我能和她一起分享美好的家常饭和酒。正当我们去取新鲜出炉的燕麦曲奇饼时，话题转到了她那个疯狂的姐妹。我不得不稍微笑了笑，因为过去的二十年里她那姐妹的故事一成不变。
When her frustration was just about to peak over her sister's latest unbelievably selfish act, I suggested she begin trying 'The Law of Patient Acceptance.'
当她对她姐妹最近那难以置信的自私行为快要感觉极度沮丧的时候，我建议她尝试“耐心接受的法则”。
"How can I possibly accept her behavior?" my friend asked.
“我怎么才可能接受她的行为？”我的朋友问道。
"Acceptance doesn't necessarily mean tolerance, " I shared. "It just means that you accept the person for who they are and you stop knocking yourself out trying to change them."
“接受不代表容忍，”我说道。“那是说接受他们是谁，而停止努力去改变他们。”
Everyone has these difficult people in their lives from time to time. I personally believe that the recession has given birth to a whole new realm of greedy, competitive and selfish folks. But nonetheless, they exist. They always have.
每个人的人生中时不时都有这些执拗的人。我个人相信大萧条使得整个国度充满贪婪的，好争的和自私的人。尽管如此，他们存在着。他们总是存在着。
"Think of it this way, " I said. "If you were to go out and buy an ottoman today, thinking you were buying a chair, you'd be really angry that the ottoman was such a pathetic chair. But once you realize what you're dealing with, once you accept the ottoman for what it is and you stop trying to turn it into a chair, your anger largely goes away."
“这样来想他，”我说道。“如果你今天要出去买个搁脚凳，却想着你要去买张椅子，你会对搁脚凳只是张可悲的椅子而感到非常愤怒。但是一旦你意识到你在面对什么，一旦你接受搁脚凳就是搁脚凳而停止努力想把它变成椅子，你的大部分愤怒会消散。”
You have to accept people for who they are. Even when you've had high hopes that they might have been able to be someone else.
你得接受人们。即使你很有希望地认为他们能成为其他人。
"You can't change people, " my Mother has always said. And she was right.
“你不能改变他人，”我的母亲常跟我说。她是对的。
The best we can do is to see people as clearly and objectively as possible. For they rarely change.
我们所能做到最好的就是最大可能地清晰地，客观地看待他人。因为他们几乎不会改变。
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