今天晚上查邮件时, 看到了一个和我来自同一个高中, 现在在中山大学读英语专业的师妹的信. 看完她那不是很长但是却充满感情的信, 我也感触很深, 因为它的这封信勾起我很多过去的记忆和感受. 时光飞逝, 我的大学四年的本科生活已经成为了过去, 而如今, 我的研究生生涯也即将走向尾声了. 过去所有的成功与失败, 欢笑与泪水, 都已经定格为历史. 如今我面对的, 却是找工作和踏入社会的现实. 我也终于真切地感受到去年和我一起毕业的同学的心情. 他们当中绝大多数人都没有选择读研, 而是工作. 那时的我因为一心想着要出国, 所以基本没有想到工作的事情. 而如今这个问题随着我毕业的到来也日渐浮出水面, 我也终于明白了当年那些同学朋友们毕业时那种既兴奋又徨彷的心情. 然而庆幸的是, 如今的我虽然处于一定程度的徨彷之中, 但是我感受到更多的是, 却是对未来的憧憬与喜悦! 十几年的寒窗苦读, 我终于迎来了进入职业生涯的那一刻, 终于即将踏入实现自己理想的关键一步. 每当想到这些, 我都感到心潮澎湃, 激动难抑!
很多人看到这里可能会嘲笑我: “你现在这样想是因为你没有了解工作的现实. 等你有朝一日工作了,你就会发现现实与理想的差距.” 如果你这样想的话, 那说明你误解了我的意思, 或者说我没有把我的感受表达清楚. 说实话, 我并不是一个天生的乐观主义者. 相反, 很多时候, 我想事情会比较悲观. 我从来不会天真地想以后自己会过得多么多么地好, 会多么多么的辉煌. 相反, 我其实无时无刻不在担忧着自己的未来. 当我与人交往时, 我经常关注的, 并不是别人哪方面不如我, 而是别人哪些方面比我好. 我时常觉得, 不管一个人多么差, 他也总会有一些好的东西值得你学习. 如果因为别人某些方面的不好而完全否定别人, 这不仅是对别人能力的侮辱, 而且也是对你自身的发展设置障碍. 正是因为看到别人优秀的方面, 你才会看到自己的不足和努力的方面, 你最后才有机会反败为胜. 大学到现在认识了不少牛人, 而且更为难得的是, 越是优秀的人, 就越加谦卑, 平易近人和乐于助人, 让你与他们交往时丝毫觉察不到傲气. 也只有和这些人交朋友, 你才能获取不断前进的动力.
很多人看到别人比自己优秀就会心生嫉妒, 甚至到了忌恨的程度, 就好像周瑜忌恨诸葛亮一样. 其实我觉得, 这是最愚蠢的做法. 你嫉妒别人, 不见得别人就会因为你的嫉妒而变得更加平庸, 也不见得你会变得更加优秀. 别人之所以比你优秀是因为别人付出的努力比你多, 修为比你高, 因此你应该是看别人是怎么用功的, 虚心向别人学习, 只有这样你才可以超越自我, 才有可能超越你的对手. 当别人在某些方面取得成就时, 我会真诚地为他感到高兴. 哪怕是在某项活动中我败给了我的竞争对手, 在为自己感到失意的同时, 我仍然会为对方感到高兴, 并且由衷地佩服他, 因为我明白, 别人可以走到今天这一步, 是非常不容易的. 而现实生活中我们在和别人竞争中往往只在意自己的得失, 得了便高兴得呼天抢地, 失了便面如死灰并且可能心里在咒骂对手. 其实有必要这样吗? 学会欣赏别人的努力与成功比在意自己暂时的得失来得更加靠谱. 另外, 嫉妒的根源在于过分地与别人比高低. 很多人往往喜欢在某些方面与别人一较高下, 特别是在自己擅长的方面, 比赢了就沾沾自喜, 比输了也不认输, 或者说, 明知道自己技不如人, 仍要打肿脸充胖子, 坚决不认输. 其实, 和别人比较本身并没有错, 错的往往只是我们比较以后的态度. 比赢了可以感到欢喜, 但不是骄傲自负, 而是再接再厉; 比输了可以感到暂时的失意, 但不是咬牙切齿, 忌恨不已, 而是愈挫愈勇, 力挽狂澜. 再者不管怎么比, 也在友谊第一的原则下比, 如果因为自己比别人好而看不起别人, 或者因为自己比别人差而嫉妒别人, 那么这样的比较非但无益, 很可能是引火自焚. 好比周瑜因为嫉妒诸葛亮最后吐血身亡一样. 心胸狭小, 容不得别人比自己好的人, 最终也难有大作为!
如今我越来越深刻地体验到, 我们真的应当感谢比我们优秀的人. 起码对我个人来讲, 我是真的这样想的, 因为正是这些人在某些方面做得比你好, 你才会见贤思齐, 才会努力向他们靠拢. 而现在, 随着接触的人越来越多和对社会的了解越来越深, 我也渐渐地发现自己许多方面的不足, 因此感到夙夜惶恐, 更感到努力提升自我的能力的要求已是迫在眉睫!
尽管我担忧自己的未来, 我却并没有对自己失去信心, 也没有对未来感到畏惧. 或许今后我的求职之路会是坎坷无比的, 或许我的职业生涯并不那么好走, 在实现理想的路上会困难重重, 但是我从来不会惧怕这些困难, 以前不会, 现在不会, 以后也不会. 当然每个人都希望自己的路可以走得平坦一些, 但是当困难到来时, 我想我们也没有必要感到世界末日一般的悲惨. 当我遇到困难时, 我会想, “古来圣贤皆寂寞”, 自古以来哪个成大事者不会经历无数挫折的呢? 这样一想, 我就会感到舒坦很多, 感觉 “天将降大任于是人也, 必先苦其心志, 劳其筋骨, 饿其体肤, 空乏其身, 行弗乱其所为, 所以动心忍性, 曾益其所不能”. 这或许有点阿Q精神, 可是却是非常奏效的. 更何况, 当我想到我的亲人, 我就觉得自己更不能倒下, 否则他们怎么办呢? 我们每个人都不能自私地活着而不顾身边的亲人朋友. 随着我们年龄的渐长, 我们身上承载的责任与义务也越来越多. 对我来讲, 我觉得, 我身边任何的亲人朋友都可以倒下, 唯独我不能, 因为我还要照顾他们, 特别是我的父母和我年迈的爷爷. 你要想家里的人不为你操心难过, 你首先要自己坚强地面对生活.
其实很多时候当你面对困境时, 你家人担忧的往往不是困境本身, 而是担忧你的思想能不能挺过困境. 就好比我当年高考考差时, 我的父母担忧的并不是我上不上得了一所好大学, 而是担忧我会不会因为那次的失败而过分抑郁最后发疯. 在亲人和好友面前, 对我来讲, 一切的困境都变得不再可怕, 也变得不再困难, 我所要做的, 就是学会在逆境中微笑, 在逆境中更加发奋. 他们看到我这样, 也会为我感到高兴与自豪! 我觉得我们永远都要记住, 对于我们的亲人和好友来讲, 他们对我们的希望很简单很简单, 那就是我们可以平平安安, 坚强不屈地活下去.
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下面是那位师妹的信和我的回信, 之所以把它们放在日记里, 是因为我觉得某些内容或许对一些师弟师妹有所启发.
来信:
小琪师兄：
好久没联系。你最近好吗。
我刚刚在收拾东西。29号就要离开珠海搬到广州了。突然有种舍不得的感觉。这里的每一片叶子，每一朵花，每一声鸟叫在这剩下的十几天里，变得格外有意义。
最近一次creative writing course上，老师然同学们畅所欲言，说说对这门课程的感受或其他。结果变成了对老师对伙伴们的真情 告白。班上很多人都哭了，包括老师和班上仅有的两位男生。当然，还有我。因为下学期我们班有一半的同学要出国交换了，所以有很多farewells,很多不舍。搞得我们跟毕业生似的。
其实我也知道没什么好哭的。大家都在追寻幸福和美好未来的路上。应该高兴才对。不知怎么就哭了。感情真是件很奇怪的东西。也许正是因为这份感情，想跟大家在一起，所以才愿意挑起班长这个担子吧。可以预计明年工作很难开展。但我不后悔这个选择。我知道师兄也在大学里当过班长，你是不是也觉得自己的付出很值得呢！
我还是蛮期待回去广州的啊。那边比较热闹，而且各种资源机会也比珠海多。我也计划好了回去以后大概要做些什么：尽量多参加跟专业有关的比赛，加紧学习日语，还打算应聘学院英诗研究所助理，听说那里气氛不错，说不定进入以后我就可以下定决心要不要读研了。进不了诗所的话就去兼职，也能解决自己一部分生活费。
还有，我跟一个同学相约今年11月去考BEC高级。在你空间读过很多关于如何准备这个考试的文章，我觉得受益匪浅。真的很感谢你，以过来人的经历给了我们这么多建议和指导。而且你对生活的那种乐观坚强时时感动着我，敦促着我！虽然我没有很强烈的愿望以后要进外企，这个证对我以后就业不一定有帮助，但我觉得考证的过程比那张证书会有意义很多。所以，我想试一下。我们口语练习已经开始几天了，但刚开始似乎困难重重，而且她昨天又回家去了，我们的计划不得不中止。坚持真不是一件易事。
现在身边很多同学都在搞暑期实习，而我选择了留在学校看书写论文。每每想到我们很快就要走进社会，就不禁觉得心慌。因为在珠海打基础这两年，我感觉阳春白雪比较多，与社会接触很少，有点飘于云端的感觉。
希望回到广州以后，能有更多机会在实践中学习吧。
最后，祝师兄在爱尔兰余下的日子天天开心，回国一切顺利！！
Shelley
我的回信:
Dear Shelley,
It is great to receive your mail again! And you know, reading your mail, whether it be Chinese or English, is a tasty feast to my mind!
Speaking of your upcoming departure from Zhuhai to Guangzhou, I could totally understand how you are feeling for the moment. You know, you have been living in Zhuhai for two years and an array of beautiful memories have been deeply enshrined in your mind. Therefore, it is quite normal for you to feel sad when thinking of this doleful leave. However, as an ancient Chinese saying goes, there is no feast which will not come to an end. It is impossible for you to stay in one place permanently throughout your life. Now you are still a young college student who still has a long way to go in your life. So it is beneficial for you to travel to more places and experience different lifestyles. Also as an ancient Chinese saying goes, reading thousands of books could also be dwarfed by traveling thousands of miles. I strongly believe the upcoming two years’ studies in Guangzhou will bestow an entirely fresh experience upon you! As you have mentioned in your mail, Guangzhou is the capital city of Guangdong Province and has plenty of opportunities awaiting for you! Hence, rather than moaning on the leave from Zhuhai, why not smile to and embrace the in-store colorful life in Guangzhou?
Talking of my experiences as a class monitor, I do think it is well worthy. Needless to say, a monitor has loads of matters to handle, whether it be small or big. Nevertheless, it is rewarding because in this process, your abilities in various aspects would be decently enhanced such as your communicative skills, teamwork spirits and leadership. It can also help you engage more with your classmates in the course of delivering information to them and organizing class activities! So no matter what your career orientation may be, I would put up my two hands for you to become a monitor! But one thing I have to remind you of is that you must know to balance your time in all sorts of things like studies, part-time jobs, class affairs, etc. A bad time manager can only be foiled when undertaking too many tasks with him. So it is rather challenging to keep yourself balanced and sustained! But I strongly believe that you can handle it well by yourself! So just plunge into the life you want and I bet you will never regret the least in the future!
I am very glad to hear that you are going to take the BEC Higher at the end of this year! Maybe getting the BEC certificate does not mean too much for you because you will get the certificate of TEM 8 when you reach the fourth grade in college. You know, TEM 8 is still more authoritative and reputable than BEC Higher in China, particularly for English majors. However, BEC Higher is as difficult as the TEM 8 and is more specialized in business context. Its listening is quite challenging even for college English teachers! So I believe preparing for this exam can tremendously sharpen your English skills, particularly your listening skills! And according to my understanding of your English level, so long as you prepare for the BEC strenuously, you are bound to pass it! So I am waiting for your good result before the Spring Festival this year! If you need any help from me, just feel free to contact me!
Finally, when it comes to the issue of internship, I do think you should interact more with people in society. That is to say, you should participate more in some social work such as part-times and internships. You know I am now feeling quite sorry about myself that I did not participate amply in the internship related to my major. Though I did a lot of moonlightings in the past, they were all related to English, such as teaching, translation and interpretation. None of them directly linked to my majors, finance or accounting. So I feel quite awkward for the moment because I do not have specific work experience to apply for the job I want. If I had had taken some internships related to my major, probably I would not feel so embarrassed now! Anyway, there is no use crying over spilt milk. What I need to do is summarize all sorts of lessons from the past and try to do better in the future! So you should have a relatively clear picture of what you would like to do in the future and try to involve yourself in the internships regarding it! I do not expect you to make the same mistake I have committed in the past. Therefore, while doing more reading and writing is a must for an English major like you, internships shall by no means be overlooked! I hope you can keep my words in mind!
Thank you very much for your best wishes! Yes I am coming back to China soon and I am quite looking forward to working in Shenzhen City. Although I have no idea what sort of job I will undertake, I will not over-worry about it. Just let it be. Maybe there are tons of difficulties howling at me, but I will not be knocked down because I also keep in mind that I am the only superman to myself! We should be humble in attitude, but noble in spirits, right?
Ok, at the very end of the letter, I am extending my best wishes to your life and studies in Guangzhou, too! I am looking forward to meeting with you face to face one day! And I think that day will not be too far, right?
All the best
Edison |
