When Carlos Greene worked in retirement planning for a major mutual fund company, none of his colleagues knew that he was carrying nearly $40,000 on five different credit cards.
卡洛斯•格林在一家大型共同基金公司负责退休规划业务时，同事们都没想到，他的五张信用卡居然共计欠款约40,000美元。
The debt built up quickly after a few key decisions Carlos, now 49, and his wife Katherine made when they moved to Cincinnati for Carlos's new job: deciding Katherine would stay home with their young boys without crunching the budget numbers, then buying a big house and a nice new car. Pretty soon, Carlos was on a strict budget, unable to drive anywhere but work or home because of the cost of gas, limiting family entertainment to movie night at home, and juggling bills at the end of every month to get them all paid. The low point came when he covered the holes in his dress shoes with cardboard when it rained, since he couldn't afford to replace them.
为了新工作，现年49岁的卡洛斯和他的妻子凯瑟琳搬到了辛辛那提。两人的一些关键决定造成了债台高筑的局面：比如两人根本没有进行预算，便决定凯瑟琳留在家里，照看两个年幼的孩子；再比如买一栋大房子和一辆好车。很快，卡洛斯的预算就开始吃紧。因为油价高企，除了上班和回家之外，他几乎不敢开车出去；家庭娱乐活动也只有晚上在家里看看电影，每到月底都要为如何应付账单而焦头烂额。最糟糕的时候，在下雨天，他不得不用硬纸板来堵住皮鞋上的洞，因为他没钱买新鞋。
"It became extremely stressful, and I was thinking, 'I'm in the financial services industry, I should know this. I should have planned this out better,' " he recalls. "It's hard for a man to swallow. I felt so frustrated and upset with myself."
他回忆说：“我的压力太大了，我一直在想：‘既然我从事的是金融服务业，我应该很清楚才对。我本应该有更好的计划。’这样的局面令人难以接受。我感觉沮丧，对自己也很生气。”
He's not alone in his failure to follow his own professional advice. We've all heard the stories of prosecuting attorneys who break the law, spiritual leaders who preach modest living while amassing fortunes, headhunting firms with disastrous CEOs, and primary care doctors who are overweight and smoke. But is there a lesson to be learned beyond appreciating the irony (and perhaps a bit of schadenfreude when a moralizing politician is caught with a prostitute)?
他并非唯一一个不遵从自己的专业建议的人。我们听到过各种各样类似的故事，比如检察官违反法律，宣扬简朴生活的精神领袖却在大肆敛财，猎头公司的CEO居然表现糟糕，而基层护理医生却体重超重，嗜好吸烟等等。但对于这样的事，除了讽刺（道貌岸然的政客嫖妓被抓后，人们甚至会有一点幸灾乐祸）之外，我们是否也能从中借鉴些什么呢？
It's first important to understand what may drive a person who built a career following one philosophy to personally indulge in the exact opposite. It could be that he chose a profession in an area of temptation as a defense mechanism in an attempt to protect himself from an inner flaw, says Ben Dattner, an organizational psychologist and executive coach based in New York.
首先，重要的是要理解，一个在职业生涯中只遵循一种理念的人，在私人生活中，为什么会沉迷于完全对立的一面。纽约组织心理学家、高管导师本•达特纳表示，人们从诱惑领域中选择一个职业的目的或许是把它作为一种防卫机制，用来保护自己免受内在缺陷的伤害。
"There can be deep psychological reasons for that," Dattner says. "The areas that fascinate you can also be your areas of weakness."
达特纳说：“其中或许还有更深层次的心理原因。吸引你的领域或许也正是你的弱点所在。”
For instance, someone with a strong rebellious streak may choose a law-and-order profession to try to curb that flaw, or an anorectic may become a gourmet cook who enjoys watching others eat. But in times of stress, a person is prone to succumbing to the suppressed trait that led to his career choice, whether breaking the law or binge eating.
例如，有强烈反叛倾向的人可能选择宣扬法制的职业来抑制自己的缺点，而一位厌食者可能成为一名喜欢看其他人吃东西的美食家。但一旦面临压力，一个人会倾向屈从于诱使自己做出职业选择的某种被压抑的品质，比如违法或暴饮暴食。
These individuals may be trying to compensate for a weak spot by developing strategies in work life that help combat it. Someone who's chronically disorganized may become a professional organizer to find solutions to her chaos. Even if she can't consistently apply those strategies in her own life, she can easily understand her clients' struggles and give them useful advice. "We're often best at doing for others what we're worst at for ourselves," Dattner says.
这些人或许正在努力尝试通过在职场中培养一些策略来弥补自己的弱点，帮助自己对抗缺点。有的人习惯性缺乏条理，却可能成为一名专业的组织者，为自己混乱的生活寻找解决方案。虽然她不可能始终如一地将这些策略应用到自己的生活当中，但她却能很容易理解客户的困难，给他们提供有用的建议。达特纳说：“我们最擅长为别人做的事情，而换成自己的时候，往往就变成了最不擅长的事情。”
Peter Schweitzer, 60, rabbi of The City Congregation for Humanistic Judaism in New York City, grew interested in Judaic studies in college and decided to become a rabbi in the Reform movement, despite the fact that he had never really given his beliefs in God much consideration. But later, as a young rabbi officiating at funerals, where the 23rd Psalm was standard fare, he found he could no longer bear to tell mourners to find comfort in a God that was anything but caring in those moments.
60岁的彼得•施维泽是纽约市人道犹太教城市教会（The City Congregation for Humanistic Judaism）的教士。他在大学的时候对犹太研究产生了兴趣，于是决定在改革运动中成为一名犹太教教士，尽管他从未考虑过自己对上帝的信仰。但后来，作为一名主持葬礼的年轻教士，经常要背诵第23章圣歌，他发现自己再也忍受不了让哀悼者们从上帝那里寻找慰藉。因为他认为在那样的时刻，这些根本不能给人们带来慰藉。
"There is pain. We do need to moan. We are upset right now. This is a tragedy," Schweitzer recalls. "It was getting too hypocritical for me to be me. I said, 'I have to be honest; I can't do this any more.' I have to find a new path."
施维泽回忆道：“我们心中有痛苦。我们需要哀悼。我们现在很难受。这是一场悲剧。这样的生活太虚伪，我已经不是我自己了。于是我说：‘我必须诚实；我不能再干这种事了。’我必须找到一条新的道路。”
He worked in publishing for a while and became a social worker before finding his way to Humanistic Judaism, in which many different beliefs are accepted and a premium is put on honesty. He volunteered as a rabbi in his current congregation before it grew large enough to offer him a paid position. Schweitzer says he feels he's a more compassionate and effective rabbi to members of his congregation who question their beliefs because of the path he took.
他在一家出版社工作了一段时间，后来又成为一名社会工作者，终于他有机会接触到人道犹太教。这个教派接受各种不同的信仰，重视诚实。于是他在现在的这个教会自愿担任教士，随着教会的规模越来越大，他也得到了一份带薪的职位。施维泽表示，由于自己曾经的经历，他感觉对于那些质疑自己信仰的会众来说，他是一位更富有同情心、更有效的教士。
"I'm clearly an atheist. I don't wave it around," he says. "It's not what we don't believe, it's what we do believe that matters ... I believe in human ability to face things. I believe in resilience. I believe in humor, courage, thinking. I believe in the strength of community. It's very, very powerful and it transcends lots of things."
他说：“我是一位无神论者，这一点我不想隐瞒。重要的并不是我们不信什么，而是我们相信什么……我相信人类有面对各种事情的能力。我相信人类的适应能力。我相信幽默、勇气、思考。我相信社区的力量。这些非常强大，甚至超越了许多东西。”
As for Carlos Greene, after hitting bottom with soggy cardboard in his shoes, he and his wife overhauled their lives to reduce expenses, pay down their debt, and avoid filing for bankruptcy. They sold their five-bedroom dream home with a finished basement and moved into a small two-bedroom townhouse where their two sons shared a room and the dog slept wherever she could. It took nearly three years of scrimping and saving to pay down the credit cards, and both Greenes vowed never to fall back into that hole. The next time they moved, they spent less on a house than they could afford. And he began taking the free seminars and educational opportunities that his firm provided, to improve his budgeting and personal finance skills.
而对于卡洛斯•格林，皮鞋里潮湿的硬纸板预示着他的生活跌入了低谷，于是他和妻子做出了重大改变，来减少开支，偿还债务，避免申请破产。他们卖掉了带精装修地下室、共有五间卧室的梦幻家园，搬到一栋很小的两居室内。两个儿子共用一个房间，爱犬随便找地方睡。他们节衣缩食，用了三年时间，终于还清了信用卡的债务。格林夫妇发誓，再也不要重蹈覆辙。他们再次搬家的时候，买了一栋在自己承受范围之内的房子。而且，他开始参加公司提供的免费研讨会和培训机会，提高自己的预算与个人理财能力。
More than a decade later, Greene says he feels that the experience has helped him in his work as a financial services professional. "I see our clients and our customers as real people. I have a lot more compassion for where they are," he says. "It gives me greater perspective on asking the next-level questions to make sure they're in a good space to truly be able to save for retirement."
十多年后，格林表示，他感觉当时的经历对他的金融服务职业提供了帮助。他说：“我把客户当作真正的人来看待。对于他们的经历，我更能感同身受。这让我有更好的视角来提出水平更高的问题，确保客户为退休生活制定可靠的储蓄规划。”
Indeed, Dattner says that when evaluating a professional who doesn't practice what he preaches, the key question is to ask whether he slips up once or twice, or if he perennially violates the rules he says you must follow -- with no sign of reforming. The latter individual is a hypocrite who should be avoided, but the former might actually have more insight and wisdom to offer. After all, would you want a dietician telling you how to lose weight if that person had never struggled to stick to an eating plan?
实际上，达特纳表示，在评估一个言行不一的职业人士时，应该问一个关键的问题，即他是偶尔出现了一两次疏忽，还是他始终在违反自己倡导其他人坚持的规则——而且没有任何改进的迹象。如果是后者，这样的人非常虚伪，自然应该敬而远之。但如果是前者，他们或许有更多的见解和智慧。毕竟，如果一名饮食专家从来没有为坚持一个饮食计划而努力过，你会相信他的减肥建议吗？
"I'd rather have somebody who has the issue themselves; that makes them much more credible," Dattner says.
达特纳说：“我宁愿相信亲自经历过同样问题的人；这会让他们更加可信。”
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