My Fair Lady Script
Freddy, go and find a cab.
Do you want me to catch pneumonia?
Don't just stand there, Freddy.
Go and find a cab.
All right, I'll get one.
Look where you're goin', dear.
Look where you're goin'!
I'm so sorry.
Two bunches o' violets trod in the mud.
A full day's wages.
-Freddy, go and find a cab.
-Yes, Mother.
He's your son, is he?
If you'd done your duty
as a mother should...
...you wouldn't let 'im spoil a poor girl's
flow'rs and run away without payin'.
Go about your business, my girl.
And you wouldn't go off
without payin', either.
Two bunches o' violets trod in the mud.
Sir, is there any sign of it stopping?
I'm afraid not. It's worse than before.
If it's worse, it's a sign it's nearly over.
Cheer up, Capt'n,
buy a flow'r off a poor girl.
I'm sorry, I haven't any change.
I can change 'alf a crown.
Take this for tuppence.
I told you, I'm awfully sorry.
Wait a minute.
Oh, yes. Here's three ha' pence,
if that's any use to you.
Thank you, sir.
You be careful.
Better give 'im a flower for it.
There's a bloke here behind that pillar...
...takin' down every blessed word
you're sayin'.
I ain't done nothin' wrong
by speakin' to the gentleman.
I've a right to sell flow'rs
if I keep off the curb.
I'm a respectable girl, so help me.
I never spoke to him except to ask him
to buy a flow'r off me.
-What's the bloomin' noise?
-A tec's takin' her down.
I'm makin' an honest livin'.
Who's doing all that shouting?
Sir, don't let 'im charge me.
You dunno what it means to me.
They'll take away me character
and drive me on the streets...
...for speakin' to gentlemen.
There, there. Who's hurting you,
you silly girl? What'd you take me for?
On my Bible oath, I never spoke a word.
Shut up! Do I look like a policeman?
Why'd ya take down me words?
'Ow do I know you took me down right?
You just show me
what you wrote ab'ut me.
That ain't proper writin'. I can't read it.
I can.
'"l say, Capt'n,
now buy a flow'r off a poor girl.'"
Oh, it's cause I called him '"Capt'n.'"
I meant no 'arm. Sir, don't let him lay
a charge against me for a word like that.
I'll make no charge.
Really, sir, if you are a detective...
...you needn't protect me
against molestation from young women...
...until I ask you.
Anyone could tell the girl meant no harm.
He ain't no tec. He's a gentleman.
Look at his boots.
How are all your people down at Selsey?
Who told you my people
come from Selsey?
Never mind, they do.
How do you come to be up so far east?
You were born in Lisson Grove.
What 'arm is there
in my leavin' Lisson Grove?
It weren't fit for pigs to live.
I had to pay four and six a week.
Live where you like but stop that noise!
Come, come, he can't touch you.
You've a right to live where you please.
I'm a good girl, I am.
-Where do I come from?
-Hawkestone.
Who said I didn't?
Blimey, you know everything, you do.
You, sir, do you think
you could find me a taxi?
Madam, it's stopped raining.
You can get a motorbus to Hampton Court.
Isn't that where you live?
What impertinence!
Tell 'im where he comes from,
if you wanta go fortune-telling.
Cheltenham, Harrow...
...Cambridge and...
...lndia?
Quite right.
He ain't a tec, he's a bloomin' busybody.
Do you do this sort of thing
for a living at a music hall?
I have thought of it.
Perhaps I will one day.
He's no gentleman, he ain't,
to interfere with a poor girl!
How do you do it, may I ask?
Simple phonetics. The science of speech.
That's my profession. Also my hobby.
Anyone can spot an lrishman
or a Yorkshireman by his brogue...
...but I can place a man within six miles.
I can place 'im within two miles in London.
Sometimes within two streets.
Ought to be ashamed of 'imself,
unmanly coward.
-Is there a living in that?
-Oh, yes.
Let him mind his own business
and leave a poor girl alone.
Cease this detestable
boohooing instantly...
...or else seek the shelter
of some other place of worship!
I have a right to be here if I like,
same as you!
A woman who utters such disgusting,
depressing noises...
...has no right to be anywhere,
no right to live.
Remember, you're a human with a soul...
...and the divine gift of articulate speech.
Your native language is the language
of Shakespeare and...
...Milton and the Bible. Don't sit there
crooning like a bilious pigeon.
'"Look at her, a prisoner of the gutters
'"Condemned by every syllable she utters
'"By right she should be taken out and hung
'"For the cold-blooded murder
of the English tongue'"
Heavens, what a sound!
'"This is what the British population
'"Calls an elementary education'"
Come, sir, I think you've picked
a poor example.
Did l?
'"Hear them down in Soho Square
Dropping H's everywhere
'"Speaking English any way they like
'"Hey, you, sir, did you go to school?
'"What ya tike me for, a fool?
'"No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike'
'"Hear a Yorkshireman, or worse
Hear a Cornishman converse
'"l'd rather hear a choir singing flat
'"Chickens cackling in a barn
Just like this one
'"Garn!
'"Garn!
'"l ask you, sir, what sort of word is that?
'"lt's 'aoow' and 'garn'
that keep her in her place
'"Not her wretched clothes and dirty face
'"Why can't the English
teach their children how to speak?
'"This verbal class distinction
by now should be antique
'"lf you spoke as she does, sir,
instead of the way you do
'"Why, you might be selling flowers, too'"
I beg your pardon.
'"An Englishman's way of speaking
absolutely classifies him
'"The moment he talks he makes
some other Englishman despise him
'"One common language
I'm afraid we'll never get
'"Oh, why can't the English learn to...
'"...set a good example to people
whose English is painful to your ears
'"The Scotch and the lrish
leave you close to tears
'"There even are places
where English completely disappears
'"Why, in America
they haven't used it for years!
'"Why can't the English
teach their children how to speak?
'"Norwegians learn Norwegian,
the Greeks are taught their Greek
'"ln France every Frenchman
knows his language from 'A' to 'Z'
'"The French don't care
what they do actually
'"As long as they pronounce it properly
'"Arabians learn Arabian
with the speed of summer lightning
'"The Hebrews learn it backwards
which is absolutely frightening
'"Use proper English,
you're regarded as a freak
'"Oh, why can't the English
'"Why can't the English learn to speak?'"
Thank you.
See this creature
with her curbstone English...
...that'll keep her in the gutter
till the end of her days?
In six months I could pass her off
as a duchess at an Embassy Ball.
I could get her a job as a lady's maid
or a shop assistant...
...which requires better English.
What's that you say?
Yes, you squashed cabbage leaf!
You disgrace to the noble architecture
of these columns!
You incarnate insult
to the English language!
I could pass you off as the Queen of Sheba.
You don't believe that, Capt'n?
Anything's possible.
I, myself, am a student of lndian dialects.
Are you? Do you know Colonel Pickering,
the author of Spoken Sanskrit?
I am Colonel Pickering. Who are you?
I'm Henry Higgins,
author of Higgins' Universal Alphabet.
I came from lndia to meet you!
I was going to lndia to meet you!
-Where are you staying?
-At the Carleton.
No, you're not.
You're staying at A Wimpole Street.
You come with me.
We'll have a little jaw over supper.
Indian dialects have always fascinated me.
Buy a flower. I'm short for me lodgin'.
Liar!
You said you could change half a crown.
You ought to be stuffed with nails,
you ought!
Here, take the whole bloomin' basket
for a sixpence!
A reminder.
-How many are there actually?
-How many what?
Indian dialects?
No fewer than distinct languages
are recorded as vernacular in lndia.
Shouldn't we stand up, gentlemen?
We've got a bloomin' heiress in our midst.
Would you be lookin'
for a good butler, Eliza?
Well, you won't do.
'"lt's rather dull in town
I think I'll take me to Paris
'"The missus wants to open up
the castle in Capri
'"Me doctor recommends
a quiet summer by the sea
'"Wouldn't it be loverly?'"
Where are ya bound for this year, Eliza?
Biarritz?
'"All I want is a room somewhere
'"Far away from the cold night air
'"With one enormous chair
'"Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
'"Lots of chocolate for me to eat
'"Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat
'"Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet
'"Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
'"Oh, so loverly sittin'
'"Absobloominlutely still
'"l would never budge till Spring
'"Crept over the winder sill
'"Someone's 'ead restin' on my knee
'"Warm and tender as he can be
'"Who takes good care of me
'"Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
'"Loverly
'"Loverly
'"Loverly
'"Loverly
'"All I want is a room somewhere
'"Far away from the cold night air
'"With one enormous chair
'"Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
'"Lots of chocolate for me to eat
'"Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat
'"Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet
'"Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
'"Oh, so loverly sittin'
'"Absobloominlutely still
'"l would never budge till Spring
'"Crept over the winder sill
'"Someone's 'ead restin' on my knee
'"Warm and tender as he can be
'"Who takes good care of me
'"Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
'"Loverly
'"Loverly
'"Loverly
'"Oh, wouldn't it be loverly?
'"Loverly
'"Loverly
'"Loverly
'"Wouldn't it be loverly?'"
Come on, Alfie, let's go 'ome now.
This place is givin' me the willies.
Home? What do you want to go 'ome for?
It's nearly : .
My daughter Eliza'll be along soon.
She ought to be good for 'alf a crown
for a father that loves 'er.
That's a laugh.
You ain't been near 'er for months.
What's that got to do with it?
What's 'alf a crown after all I've give 'er?
When did you ever give 'er anythin'?
Anythin'? I give 'er everythin'.
I give 'er the greatest gift
any human being can give to another:
Life!
I introduced 'er to this here planet, I did,
with all its wonders and marvels.
The sun that shines, the moon that glows.
Hyde Park to walk through
on a fine spring night.
The 'ole ruddy city o' London to roam
around in sellin' 'er bloomin' flow'rs.
I give 'er all that.
Then I disappears and leaves 'er
on 'er own to enjoy it.
If that ain't worth 'alf a crown
now and again...
...l'll take my belt off and give 'er what for.
You got a good 'eart.
But you want a 'alf a crown out o' Eliza...
...you better have a good story.
Leave that to me, my boy.
-Good mornin', George.
-Not a brass farthin'.
Not a brass farthin'.
There she is.
Why, Liza, what a surprise.
Hop along, Charlie, you're too old for me.
-Don't you know your daughter?
-You don't know what she looks like.
I know 'er, I know 'er.
Come on, I'll find 'er.
Eliza, what a surprise.
Not a brass farthin'.
Hey, you come 'ere, Eliza.
I ain't gonna take me 'ard-earned wages...
...and let you pass 'em on
to a bloody pubkeeper.
You wouldn't send me 'ome
to your stepmother...
...without a drop o' liquid protection,
would ya?
Stepmother, indeed!
Well, I'm willin' to marry 'er.
It's me that suffers by it.
I'm a slave to that woman, Eliza.
Just because I ain't 'er lawful 'usband.
Come on.
Slip your ol' dad just 'alf a crown
to go 'ome on.
Well, I had a bit o' luck meself last night.
But don't keep comin' around
countin' on 'alf crowns from me!
Thank you, Eliza. You're a noble daughter.
'"Beer, beer, glorious beer
'"Fill yourself right up'"
See this creature
with her curbstone English...
...that will keep her
in the gutter till the end of her days?
In six months, I could pass her off
as a duchess at an Embassy Ball.
I could get her ajob as a lady's maid
or a shop assistant...
...which requires better English.
You disgrace to the noble architecture
of these columns!
I could get her ajob as a lady's maid
or a shop assistant...
...which requires better English.
How many vowel sounds
did you hear altogether?
I believe I counted .
Wrong by . To be exact you heard .
Listen to them one at a time.
Must l? I'm really quite done up
for one morning.
Your name, please?
Your name, miss?
My name is of no concern to you
whatsoever.
One moment, please.
London is gettin' so dirty these days.
I'm Mrs. Pearce, the housekeeper.
Can I help you?
Good morning, missus.
I'd like to see the professor, please.
Could you tell me what it's about?
It's business of a personal nature.
One moment, please.
-Mr. Higgins?
-What is it, Mrs. Pearce?
There's a young woman
who wants to see you, sir.
A young woman?
What does she want?
She's quite a common girl, sir.
Very common indeed.
I should've sent her away, only I thought...
...you wanted her to talk
into your machine.
-Has she an interesting accent?
-Simply ghastly.
Good. Let's have her in.
Show her in, Mrs. Pearce.
This is rather a bit of luck.
I'll show you how I make records.
We'll set her talking, then I'll take
her down first in Bell's Visible Speech...
...then in broad Romic.
Then we'll get her on the phonograph...
...so you can turn her on when you want
with the written transcript before you.
This is the young woman, sir.
Good mornin', my good man.
Might I 'ave a word with you?
Oh, no. This is the girl
I jotted down last night.
She's no use. I got the records I want
of the Lisson Grove lingo.
I won't waste another cylinder on that.
Be off with you. I don't want you.
Don't be so saucy.
You ain't 'eard what I come for yet.
Did you tell 'im I come in a taxi?
Nonsense. Do you think a gentleman
like Mr. Higgins cares...
...what you came in?
Oh, we are proud.
He ain't above givin' lessons, not 'im.
I 'eard 'im say so.
I ain't come here to ask
for any compliment...
...and if my money's not good enough,
I can go elsewhere.
Good enough for what?
Good enough for you.
Now you know, don't ya?
I'm come to 'ave lessons.
And to pay for 'em, too, make no mistake.
Well!
And what do you expect me to say?
Well, if you was a gentleman,
you might ask me to sit down, I think.
Don't I tell you I'm bringin' you business?
Should we ask this baggage to sit down...
...or shall we just throw her
out of the window?
I won't be called a baggage.
Not when I've offered to pay like any lady.
What do you want, my girl?
I want to be a lady in a flow'r shop...
...'stead of sellin' at the corner
of Tottenham Court Road.
But they won't take me
unless I can talk more genteel.
He said 'e could teach me.
Well, 'ere I am ready to pay 'im.
Not asking any favor
and he treats me as if I was dirt.
I know what lessons cost as well as you do
and I'm ready to pay.
How much?
Now you're talkin'.
I thought you'd come off it
for a chance to get back...
...a bit of what you chucked
at me last night.
You'd had a drop in, 'adn't you?
Sit down.
-If you're goin' t' make a compliment of it--
-Sit down!
Sit down, girl. Do as you're told.
What's your name?
Eliza Doolittle.
Won't you sit down, Miss Doolittle?
I don't mind if I do.
How much do you propose
to pay me for these lessons?
Oh, I know what's right.
My lady friend gets French lessons
for pence an hour...
...from a real French gentleman.
You wouldn't have the face
to ask me the same...
...for teachin' me my own language
as you would for French.
I won't give more than a shillin'.
Take it or leave it.
Do you know, Pickering,
if you think of a shilling...
...not as a simple shilling,
but as a percentage of this girl's income...
...it works out as fully equivalent of...
... or pounds from a millionaire.
By George, it's enormous.
It's the biggest offer I ever had.
Sixty pounds? What are you talkin' about?
Where would I get pounds?
-I never offered you pounds!
-Hold your tongue!
But I ain't got pounds!
Don't cry, silly girl. Sit down.
Nobody's going to touch your money.
Somebody'll touch you with a broomstick
if you don't stop sniveling.
Sit down!
Anybody'd think you was my father!
If I decide to teach you,
I'll be worse than two fathers to you.
Here.
What's this for?
To wipe your eyes. To wipe any part
of your face that feels moist.
Remember, that's your handkerchief
and that's your sleeve.
Don't confuse one with the other,
if you want to become a lady in a shop.
It's no use to talk to her like that.
She doesn't understand you.
Give the 'andkerchief to me.
He give it to me, not to you!
Higgins, I'm interested.
What about your boast...
...you could pass her off as a duchess
at the Embassy Ball?
I'll say you're the greatest teacher alive
if you do that.
I'll bet you all the expenses
of the experiment that you can't do it.
I'll even pay for the lessons.
You're real good. Thank ye, Capt'n.
It's almost irresistible.
She's so deliciously low.
So horribly dirty.
I ain't dirty! I washed my face an' hands
before I come, I did.
I'll take it. I'll make a duchess
of this draggle-tailed guttersnipe.
We'll start today. This moment.
Take her away and clean her.
Sandpaper, if it won't come off.
Is there a fire in the kitchen?
Take her clothes off and burn them
and order some new ones.
Just wrap her in brown paper
till they come.
You're no gentleman, you're not,
to talk o' such things.
I'm a good girl, I am.
And I know what the likes of you are, I do.
We want none of your slum prudery here,
young woman.
You've got to learn to behave
like a duchess.
Take her away, Mrs. Pearce.
If she gives you any trouble, wallop her.
I'll call the police, I will.
I've got no place to put her.
Well, put her in the dustbin.
Come, Higgins, be reasonable.
You must be reasonable,
Mr. Higgins, you must.
You can't walk over everybody like this.
I?
Walk over everybody?
My dear Mrs. Pearce, my dear Pickering,
I had no intention of walking over anybody.
I merely suggested we should be kind
to this poor girl.
I didn't express myself clearly
because I didn't wish to hurt her delicacy...
...or yours.
But, sir, you can't take a girl up like that...
...as if you were picking up
a pebble on the beach.
Why not?
Why not? But you don't know
anything about her.
What about her parents?
She may be married.
Garn!
There. As the girl
very properly says, '"garn! '"
Who'd marry me?
By George, Eliza...
...the streets will be strewn
with the bodies of men...
...shooting themselves for your sake
before I'm done with you.
I'm goin'.
He's off his chump, he is.
I don't want no balmies teachin' me.
Mad? All right, Mrs. Pearce,
don't order those new clothes.
-Throw her out.
-Stop! I won't allow it.
Go home to your parents, girl.
I ain't got no parents.
She ain't got no parents. What's the fuss?
Nobody wants her. She's no use
to anyone but me. Take her upstairs!
What's to become of her?
ls she to be paid anything?
Do be sensible, sir.
What'd she do with money?
She'll have food and clothes.
She'll drink if you give her money.
You are a brute! It's a lie!
Nobody ever saw the sign o' liquor on me.
Sir, you're a gentleman.
Don't let 'im speak to me like that!
Does it occur to you, Higgins,
the girl has some feelings?
No, I don't think so.
No feelings we need worry about.
Well, have you, Eliza?
I got me feelings same as anyone else.
Mr. Higgins, I must know on what terms
the girl is to be here.
What'll become of her
when you've finished teaching?
You must look ahead a little, sir.
What'll become of her if we leave her
in the gutter, Mrs. Pearce?
That's her own business,
not yours, Mr. Higgins.
When I'm done, we'll throw her back.
Then it'll be her own business again.
That'll be all right, won't it?
You've no feelin' 'eart in ya!
You don't care for nothin' but yourself.
I've 'ad enough of this. I'm goin'!
You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
Have some chocolates, Eliza.
'Ow do I know what might be in 'em?
I've 'eard of girls bein' drugged
by the likes o' you.
Pledge of good faith.
I'll take one half.
And you take the other.
You'll have boxes of them,
barrels of them every day.
You'll live on them, eh?
I wouldn't 've ate it, only I'm too ladylike
to take it out o' me mouth.
Think of it, Eliza.
Think of chocolates, and taxis...
...and gold and diamonds.
I don't want no gold and no diamonds.
I'm a good girl, I am.
Higgins, I really must interfere.
Mrs. Pearce is quite right.
If this girl will put herself
in your hands for six months...
...for an experiment in teaching, she must
understand thoroughly what she's doing.
You are to stay here
for the next six months...
...learning how to speak beautifully
like a lady in a florist shop.
If you're good and do what you're told,
you'll sleep in a proper bedroom...
...have lots to eat, money
to buy chocolates and take rides in taxis.
But if you are naughty and idle...
...you'll sleep in the kitchen
amongst the black beetles...
...and be walloped by Mrs. Pearce
with a broomstick.
At the end of six months,
you shall be taken to Buckingham Palace...
...in a carriage, beautifully dressed.
If the king finds out
that you are not a lady...
...the police will take you to the Tower
of London where your head will be cut off...
...as a warning to other
presumptuous flower girls.
But if you are not found out,
you shall have a present of...
...seven and six to start life with
as a lady in a shop.
If you refuse this offer...
...you will be the most ungrateful,
wicked girl...
...and the angels will weep for you!
Are you satisfied, Pickering?
I don't understand
what you're talking about.
Could I put it more plainly or fairly,
Mrs. Pearce?
Come with me.
That's right.
Bundle her off to the bathroom.
You're a great bully, you are!
I won't stay here if I don't like it.
I won't let nobody wallop me!
Don't answer back, girl.
I've always been a good girl, I 'ave.
In six months...in three,
if she has a good ear and a quick tongue...
...l'll take her anywhere
and I'll pass her off as anything.
I'll make a queen of that barbarous wretch!
I've never had a bath in me life.
Not what you'd call a proper one.
You know you can't be a nice girl inside
if you're dirty outside.
I'll have to put you in here.
This will be your bedroom.
I couldn't sleep in here, missus.
It's too good for the likes o' me.
I should be afraid to touch anythin'.
I ain't a duchess yet, you know.
What's this?
This where you wash clothes?
This is where we wash ourselves, Eliza.
And where I'm going to wash you.
You expect me to get into that
and wet meself all over?
Not me!
I shall catch me death.
Come along now.
Come along.
Take your clothes off.
Come on, girl, do as you're told.
Take your clothes off.
Here, come on. Help me take these--
Take your hands off me!
I'm a good girl, I am!
It ain't right! It ain't decent!
Get your hands off me!
I'm a good girl, I am!
Forgive the bluntness,
but if I'm to be in this business...
...l shall feel responsible for the girl.
I hope it's clearly understood that
no advantage is to be taken of her position.
What, that thing? Sacred, I assure you.
Come now, you know what I mean.
This is no trifling matter.
Are you a man of good character
where women are concerned?
Have you ever met a man of good
character where women are concerned?
Yes, very frequently.
I haven't. The moment I let a woman
make friends with me...
...she becomes jealous, exacting...
...suspicious and a damned nuisance.
The moment that I make friends with
a woman I become selfish and tyrannical.
So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor
and likely to remain so.
Well, after all, Pickering....
'"l'm an ordinary man
'"Who desires nothing more
'"Than just an ordinary chance
'"To live exactly as he likes
'"And do precisely what he wants
'"An average man, am I
'"Of no eccentric whim
'"Who likes to live his life
'"Free of strife
'"Doing whatever he thinks is best for him
'"Oh, just an ordinary man
'"But let a woman in your life
'"And your serenity is through
'"She'll redecorate your home
From the cellar to the dome
'"Then go on to the enthralling fun
of overhauling you!
'"Let a woman in your life
'"And you are up against a wall
'"Make a plan and you will find
She has something else in mind
'"So rather than do either
You do something else that neither
'"Likes at all!
'"You want to talk of Keats or Milton
'"She only wants to talk of love
'"You go to see a play or ballet
'"And spend it searching for her glove
'"Let a woman in your life
'"And you invite eternal strife
'"Let them buy their wedding bands
'"For those anxious little hands
'"l'd be equally as willing
For a dentist to be drilling
'"Than to ever let a woman in my life!
'"l'm a very gentle man
'"Even-tempered and good-natured
Whom you never hear complain
'"Who has the milk of human kindness
By the quart in every vein
'"A patient man am I
Down to my fingertips
'"The sort who never could
Ever would
'"Let an insulting remark escape his lips
'"A very gentle man
'"But let a woman in your life
'"And patience hasn't got a chance
'"She will beg you for advice
Your reply will be concise
'"And she'll listen very nicely
'"Then go out and do precisely
What she wants!
'"You were a man of grace and polish
'"Who never spoke above a hush
'"Now all at once you're using language
'"That would make a sailor blush
'"Let a woman in your life
'"And you're plunging in a knife!
'"Let the others of my sex
'"Tie the knot around their necks
'"l'd prefer a new edition
Of the Spanish lnquisition
'"Than to ever let a woman in my life
'"l'm a quiet-living man
'"Who prefers to spend the evenings
'"ln the silence of his room
'"Who likes an atmosphere as restful
'"As an undiscovered tomb
'"A pensive man am I
Of philosophic joys
'"Who likes to meditate, contemplate
'"Free from humanity's mad, inhuman noise
'"A quiet-living man
'"But let a woman in your life
'"And your sabbatical is through
'"ln a line that never ends
Come an army of her friends
'"Come to jabber and to chatter
And to tell her
'"What the matter is with you!
'"She'll have a booming, boisterous family
'"Who will descend on you en masse
'"She'll have a large, Wagnerian mother
'"With a voice that shatters glass!
'"Let a woman in your life
'"l shall never let a woman...
'"...in my life! '"
Get out of 'ere. Jamie, you get out, too!
Come on, Doolittle. And remember,
drinks is to be paid for or not drunk.
Thanks for your 'ospitality, George.
Send the bill to Buckingham Palace.
Well, Alfie, there's nothin' else to do.
I guess it's back to work.
Work! Don't you dare mention
that word in my presence again.
Look at all these poor blighters down here.
I used to do that sort of thing once.
Just for exercise.
It's not worth it. Takes up your whole day.
Don't worry, boys.
We'll get outta this somehow.
How do you think you'll do that?
How? Same as always.
Faith, hope and a little bit o' luck.
'"The Lord above gave man an arm of iron
'"So he could do his job and never shirk
'"The Lord above gave man
an arm of iron, but
'"With a little bit o' luck
With a little bit o' luck
'"Someone else'll do the blinkin' work!
'"With a little bit
'"With a little bit
'"With a little bit o' luck
You'll never work
'"The Lord above made liquor
for temptation
'"To see if man could turn away from sin
'"The Lord above made liquor
for temptation, but
'"With a little bit o' luck
With a little bit o' luck
'"When temptation comes
you'll give right in.
'"With a little bit
'"With a little bit
'"With a little bit o' luck
You'll give right in.
'"Oh, you can walk the straight and narrow
'"But with a little bit o' luck
you'll run amuck!
'"The gentle sex was made
for man to marry
'"To share his nest
and see his food is cooked
'"The gentle sex was made
for man to marry, but
'"With a little bit o' luck
With a little bit o' luck
'"You can have it all and not get hooked.
'"With a little bit
'"With a little bit
'"With a little bit o' luck
You won't get hooked
'"With a little bit
'"With a little bit
'"With a little bit o' bloomin' luck!
'"They're always throwing goodness at you
'"But with a little bit o' luck a man can duck
'"The Lord above made man
to 'elp his neighbor
'"No matter where on land, or sea, or foam
'"The Lord above made man
to 'elp his neighbor, but
'"With a little bit o' luck
With a little bit o' luck
'"When he comes around
you won't be home'"
You'd make a good suffragette, Alfie.
Why, there's the lucky man now.
The Honorable Alfie Doolittle.
What are you doing in Eliza's hous |
