The Mystery of Success
Once I asked one of my friends about the mystery of her handsome and successful husband. This is her reply:
“A wife with an unpleasant look can make her husband focus all his attention on his work.”
Is He Better?
A year ago, Mary's brother had a traffic accident and was sent to hospital at one with a very serious brain injury. Last month, I saw Mary in the street and asked if her brother was any better after the brain operation.
“Yes,” she replied, “he's much better. Before the operation he can't recognize anyone. Now he offers greetings to anyone he sees.”
Who Is the Most Obedient?
A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present. “Who is the most obedient, never talks back to. Mother and does everything he or she is told?” he asked.
There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it, Daddy!”
A Secret of Long Life
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday, and everyone was complimenting him on how well he looked.
“I'll tell you the secret,” he said, “My wife and I were married seventy-five years ago. On our wedding night we made a pledge that whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go out and take a walk. I have been in the open air continuously for the past seventy-five years.”
Hard to Please Both
“What shall I do?” a young man looking to get married asked his friend. “Every girl I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like.”
“Oh, that's easy,” his friend replied. “All you have to do is to find someone who is just like your mother.”
“I did that already,” he said, “and that one my father didn't like.”
It's Not a Gun
A man was in a grocery store with his stingy friend when two robbers broke in and asked all the people to put up their hands. As the robbers began searching the boss for money, he felt a nudge. “Take this,” his friend whispered.
“Don't give me a gun,” the man whispered back. “I don't want to be a hero.”
“It's not gun-in' s that twenty-five dollars I owe you.”
New Discovery
A countryman was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door opened and a beautiful model stepped off the room.
Blinking in amazement, the countryman said slowly, “I should have brought my wife here!” |
