she's young, she said,
but look at me,
I have pretty ankles,
and look at my wrists, I have pretty
wrists
o my god,
I thought it was all working,
and now it's her again,
every time she phones you go crazy,
you told me it was over
you told me it was finished,
listen, I've lived long enough to become a
good woman,
why do you need a bad woman?
you need to be tortured, don't you?
you think life is rotten if somebody treats you
rotten it all fits,
doesn't it?
tell me, is that it? do you want to be treated like a
piece of shit?
and my son, my son was going to meet you.
I told my son
and I dropped all my lovers.
I stood up in a cafe and screamed
I'M IN LOVE,
and now you've made a fool of me. . .
I'm sorry, I said, I'm really sorry.
hold me, she said, will you please hold me?
I've never been in one of these things before, I said,
these triangles. . .
she got up and lit a cigarette, she was trembling all
over.she paced up and down,wild and crazy.she had
a small body.her arms were thin,very thin and when
she screamed and started beating me I held her
wrists and then I got it through the eyes:hatred,
centuries deep and true.I was wrong and graceless and
sick.all the things I had learned had been wasted.
there was no creature living as foul as I
and all my poems were
false.
我在恋爱
她年轻，她说过
但看看我
我有漂亮的脚脖子
看我手腕，我也有漂亮的
一双手腕子
哦，我的上帝
我原以为这都将常在
现在又跑到她身上
每一次她来电话，你就疯了
先前你敷衍我外遇已完了
先前你骗我说一切早结束
听着，我活了这么久够得上一位好女人
为什么你迷上一个坏女人？
你要受煎熬，是吗？
你觉得生活是腐化，如果有人扭曲你
腐化一切的正常
告诉我，真是这样吗？你乐意视若粪土的
被扭曲？
接着我的儿子，我的儿子打算跟你碰面
我告诉我儿子，
然后我不再跟我所有的情人交往。
在一家咖啡厅我直立起来尖叫：
我在恋爱
到现在你一直欺骗着我……
我道歉，我说过，我真的对不起
抱抱我，她开了口，能不能请你来抱抱我？
以往我从未陷入一桩这档子事，我说过
这些三角关系……
她起身点了一支烟，她正浑身
颤抖。她踱来踱去，野性又狂热。她身子
娇小；她双臂细瘦，非常瘦。正当她叫喊着
动手拍打我，我捏住她的双手，还从她眼中找到：憎恨
——深埋岁月又表露无遗。我错了，既粗俗
又病态。生平所学的全白搭。
从没有像我这样子犯傻的家伙！
而所有我的诗都是
错误。 |
