No one likes to be criticized.
没有人喜欢被批评。
Dale Carnegie, when giving advice on how to influence people and win friends, tells his readers that there is never a good time to criticize. As you may have already concluded, not everyone agrees with Dale.
戴尔·卡耐基在《如何影响他人以及赢得朋友》一书中建议他的读者：批评永远不会有好时机。你可能已经有所结论，但不是每个人都赞同戴尔。
I never liked criticism. It always triggered an automatic reaction in me that I didn’t like. I would feel my heart beating faster and I immediately wanted to explain to or refute the critic. It wasn’t until I realized what criticism really was or actually what it wasn’t that I was able to control my emotions and stay calm in the face of even the most scathing criticisms.
我从不喜欢批评，因为它总是会触发我的无意识反应，而这种反应，我感到厌恶。（受到批评时）我会感觉心跳加快，当即就想要向批评者解释或反驳。这种情况一直持续到我认识了批评到底是什么——或者说认识到批评实际上并不是什么。之后，当我所面对着尽管是最为苛刻的批评时，我都能够控制我的情绪，并保持冷静。
Criticism is a judgment about something I did. The reason I was reacting negatively was because I perceived it as a judgment about who I am. Since I felt my self-worth was being attacked, I naturally went into a defensive stance to protect it and that was my mistake.
批评，是对我所做某事的一种判断。我之所以消极反应，是因为我把这种判断认为是对“我是谁”的判断。我感到我的自我价值受到了攻击，所以本能的进入了防御状态来保护它。这是我的错误。
I now realize that:
现在我认识到了：
Only I can decide my self-worth
只有我自己能够决定我的自我价值
Self-worth is the value I place upon myself. I have not fundamentally changed just because I made a mistake and therefore
自我价值是我自身所看重的价值。我不能仅仅因为犯了错误而从根本上改变它，因此：
Criticism does NOT reflect who I am.
批评并不能够反应“我是谁”。
The great thing is that even if someone has the intention to attack you personally to try to lower your self-worth, they can’t because your self-worth and esteem is controlled only by you. Having this knowledge has really changed the way I handle criticism, constructive or destructive.
最重要的一点在于，就算某人妄图攻击你本身，想以此贬低你的自我价值，他们却不能做到。因为你的自我价值和自尊只被你自己所掌握。认识到这一点，真正地改变了我处理有益或有害批评的方式。
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