“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” ~Maxwell Maltz
我总是一个叛逆者-独立，有点不合群。我以我的独立自豪，我喜欢用自己的方式做事情，而且我不关心无需的投入（委婉的说！）
I’ve always been a rebel—independent, and a bit of a loner. I’ve prided myself on self-sufficiency. I like to do things my own way, and I don’t care for unrequested input (to put it mildly!).
我从22岁开始就是自主经营，这样维持生计也是艰难的。总的来说，我很成功因为我有能力去照顾自己并且有情感支柱。
I’ve been self-employed since I was 22 in a profession it can be tough to make a living in. In large part, I’ve been successful because of my ability to care for and emotionally support myself.
对我来说，自爱为我的目标服务，去做我生命中想做的事，不管我是否有来自外界的支持。
For me, this self-love has served my goal of doing what I want to do with my life, regardless of whether I have any support from the outside world or not.
其实所有的事情，我并没有完全能做到自爱。这是一个持续的过程，有些日子比另一些日子要好。在这些日子，我已经掌握了一些技巧可以提高自爱，让自己感觉很棒。
Despite all the practice, I don’t fully have this self-love thing down. It’s an ongoing project, and some days are better than others. On the not-so-fab days, I’ve got some techniques I use to up the ante on feeling great about me.
1. 列出你收到的赞美
I guarantee there have been many. Nobel prize nominations are not required. The fact that you bake amazing pies or are the person your friends always call when they want a sympathetic ear are great examples; so are getting a degree or knowing how to change your car’s oil.
我保证这有许多，诺贝尔奖提名的人都不被要求。事实上你烤个很惊人的馅饼或者是你是朋友在需要倾听者的时候需要的人，这些都是好的列子；所以得到一个学位或者知道如何改变你车里的油。
Refer to this list when you are feeling not so special. Soak in all the cool stuff you’ve achieved and remind yourself how awesome you are. Personally, I love the reminder that I was voted “most unique” in high school.
当你觉得自己不特别的时候，看看这些列出的单子。你取得的成绩，觉得很酷，并提醒自己，你是如何真棒。就个人而言，我喜欢在高中被评选为“最具特色的”。
2. Learn something new.
2.学习新事物
You don’t have to become an expert on an entire subject (unless that’s appealing). Learn how to say “have a nice day” in German (“Habt einen schönen tag!”), check out a Ted talk, or hit up Wikipedia’s “random article” link until you find something interesting.
你不需要变成一个整个领域的专家（除非那是有吸引力的）。学会用德语说“这是多么美好的一天”(“Habt einen schönen tag!”)，听Ted讲座，或者去维基百科点“随机文章”的链接，直到你发现一些有趣的事。
Pointing our focus toward something outside of ourselves is stimulating; it also expands our world and our perspective. Additionally, learning makes your brain happy.
把我们的注意力放在有意思的外在世界；它也可以扩展我们的世界观和价值观。此外，学习会使你的大脑变得开心。
3. Ask your very best friend/partner/favorite family member what they love about you and specifically how you are amazing.
3.问问你的好朋友/伙伴/亲人 他们最爱你哪些，看看你是如何惊人的
Take note of what they say and refer to it later when you are feeling a bit unloved. While our view of ourselves is of primary importance (it is about self-love, after all), it’s always nice to hear some complimentary words from someone we love whose opinion we respect.
记下他们说的，当你觉得自己不被关心得时候想想这些。我们对自己的看法是最主要的（毕竟这叫自爱）。我们总是喜欢听到我们爱的人的赞美，这些看法是值得我们尊敬。
Let me be super-clear: I am not talking about the “friend” who is actually a frenemy, or the family member who insists on subtly criticizing your life choices. This question is reserved for one of your very favorite people who happens to feel the very same way toward you.
让我清楚的是：我不是在谈论实际上是友敌的“朋友”，或家庭成员成天对你的人生选择妄加批评。这个问题是保留给你的一个很喜欢的人，这个人会跟你志趣相投。
4. Put your focus on others with small acts of kindness.
4.把你的注意力放在那些行善的小事
If I’m having a self-critical day, my tendency is to want to turn inward and pay little attention to the outside world (and expend my energy getting down on myself—not very useful). Instead of allowing that, I will make an effort to chat with people I come across and offer a kind word; I’ll be a more considerate driver; I’ll make a point of saying “hi” to people I don’t know.
如果我有一天用来自我批判，我会变得内向，很少关注外面的世界（和花费精力善待自己--不是非常有用）。 ，如果不是出于考虑，我会努力地和我遇到的人聊天，和他们友好的交谈；我将会成为一个很体贴的司机；我会跟陌生人说“你好”。
For me, focusing on others serves as a simple reminder that we are all connected, as well as sending the message to my system that playing the introvert and self-criticizing is not acceptable to me.
对我来说，专注于别人，能单单提醒我们是互相联系的，也会发邮件给我系统里联系的人，我是不能接受一直玩内向和自我批评的人。
5. And sometimes, turn inward.
5.有时看看自己的内心
I trust myself enough to know when I just need an hour or two of nothing. No email, internet, or other diversions—just me and a cup of something, hanging out, plotting my future, thinking about what I want, where I’m going, and how I’m going to get there.
我相信我自己知道什么时候我只需要一两个小时去放空自己。没有电子邮件，互联网或其他的娱乐---只有我和一杯喝的东西，闲逛着，描绘我的未来，思考我想要什么，我要去哪里，以及如何我去到那里。
For me, this is like hitting a re-set button. It clears my brain of some of the clutter, alleviates some of the negative internal dialogue, and leaves me feeling motivated and renewed. Meditation is great. So is a half-hour in a coffee shop sans boss and kids. Both can be incredibly fulfilling. Do whatever works for you.
对我来说，这就像按下了重新设置按钮。它净化我的大脑，缓解一些内心的困惑，让我感觉有动力，有活力。冥想是伟大的。因此，在一个咖啡馆呆半小时不去想老板和孩子。这会是难以想象的满足。做任何适合你的。
Its an incredibly basic concept, but oh so easy, super fun, and all good baby. I defy you to feel bad after your endorphin-pumping, stress-relieving, body-moving, shamelessly personalized dance party for one.
一个令人难以置信的基本概念，很简单，超级好玩，都是好孩子。我也不怕你事后觉得内啡肽抽不好，缓解压力，移动身体， 一个没约束的个性化舞会。
7. Practice self-care.
7.学会照顾自己
The most effective tool I use to avoid the not-so-great-in-the-self-love-department days isregular self-care. I engage in many small acts of self-care, with occasional larger ones thrown in.
我使用的最有效的方法是有规律的自我照顾，去避免不能保持自爱的时候，我搞许多小的自我照顾行为，偶有较大的额外奉送。
Getting up early enough to enjoy my morning coffee; scheduling myself in a way that doesn’t cause my head to explode when I look at my calendar for the day; making sure my refrigerator is well-stocked so I don’t end up having olives and old celery for dinner—these details work for me and support me in feeling strong and solid.
早起享受我的早晨咖啡，安排自己的方式，看看日历上的日子不会使我头疼;确保我的冰箱是储藏丰富的，所以我不用橄榄和老芹菜作为晚餐---这些细节对我来说很有用，让我感觉强大，可靠。
I simply feel better about myself when my life is running smoothly. And since I’m the one running my life, the responsibility to make it so is mine.
当我的生命平稳进行时，我只觉得更好地了解自己，而且，我的生活是自己过得，所以我要对此负责。
Remember: While we are all connected, and in many ways are the same, you are the only youthere is. You are unique, amazing, and special. Revel in it, ‘cause you rock.
记住：虽然我们是互相联系的，并且在许多方面是相同的，但是你，是存在唯一的你。你是独一无二的，惊人的，特殊的。陶醉它，因为你摇滚。
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