Finding Meaning in Tragedy and Moving on Stronger
I’d rather not have to tell a story like this, and my wish is that no one would ever have to learn lessons from an experience such as this. You see, my husband’s mother passed away just at the end of June.我婆婆在七月末的时候离我们而去。然而，她并非因自然死亡，也并无疾病困扰。她才61岁。她是一件凶案的受害者，当时，她正在自己的车道上洗车，忽然被掳走，这种事情你很难想象，通常都只能在电视上看到。
But she didn’t just die of old age, or a sickness; she was only 61. She was washing her car in her own driveway and was forced into that car and taken. She was a victim of a violent crime; an unthinkable thing that you only hear about on the news.
在九天的凶残作案之后，凶手终于被绳之于法，他的行为对很多妇女和家庭带来了不可磨灭的影响。在这种伤害过后，许许多多的家庭，像我们家一样，都还有很长的道路要走：证据的收集，调查，审判。
The man that did this has been arrested, ending a nine-day violent rampage affecting many women and their families. Those families, including ours, await the long road ahead that comes with this type of devastation: evidence collection, investigation, trial, and sentencing.
朝着正确的方向，坚定前行
My husband and I took his 79-year-old grandmother, his mother’s mother, and flew to where his parents and sisters live.
我和丈夫带着他79岁的奶奶，飞往老家，丈夫亲人的住所。
We were able to be with his father and sisters during this time, and we were able to be there for the beautiful funeral and memorial service. Many friends gathered around the family, as there are no blood-relatives in that area.
这段时间里，我们陪伴在公公和婆婆的姐妹身边，我们出席葬礼和纪念活动。因为在这个地区并没有亲戚，许许多多的朋友都聚集在这一家人身边来。
His mother and father are private people, so it was a small and intimate gathering, but much love was shared, and many friends came to the service.
因为公公和婆婆都是深居简出的人，所以聚集在一起的人不多，但是都是非常亲密的友人。正因如此，大家才能更好的交流彼此的感受。
I had expected there to be outrage, anger, disgust, even hatred for the man who did this, and possibly even for those of his same race, by some.
我曾以为大家会对这次事件感到愤怒、恶心甚至仇恨凶手，乃至他的种族。
I witnessed none of those things. There was, of course, shock. There was sadness, remorse, and perhaps some initial anger.
但是，出乎意料，这一幕并没有出现。震惊意外，大家都非常伤心，感伤，或许开始的时候有些小小的愤怒。
I can’t sit here and say I know every emotion that went through each and every person. But I did not encounter outward aggression. I felt only love; a loving presence of unity and togetherness.
我当然不可能知道当时大家每个人所经历的情感。但是我没有看见任何人表现出愤怒，相反，我感受到的是爱，还有一种凝聚在一起的和谐氛围。
Beautiful Surprises Can Bloom from Tragic Seeds
悲剧的种子也能开出美丽的惊喜之花。
My husband’s mother was a kind and generous person. Small, delicate, and gentle like a little bird.
婆婆是个非常善良和慷慨的人，身材娇小，性情温和。
It is an outrage that this type of thing would ever happen to someone like her, to this family, especially right after my own mother passed suddenly and unexpectedly just three months ago, also not from natural causes, but an unnecessary prescription medication complication.
我母亲前一段时间刚刚因为不必要的并发症而撒手人寰，现在我的婆婆又因为这样的事情离去，这样的事情发生在任何一个人，任何家庭，愤怒都无可厚非。
Even though these unbelievable events have shaken me to my core, I have such anunshakable peace about me.
尽管这件匪夷所思的事情已经深深震撼我的心灵，但是我内心却有着无可动摇的平和。
I really thought that my husband would have a reversion to anger, that this would destroy all the changes he has gone through becoming this more enlightened person. I thought this event would destroy him in some way, but it hasn’t.
我真的以为我的丈夫会怒不可遏，因为这个事件摧毁了他变成现在这么睿智所经历的变化，我以为这件事会在某一方面摧毁他。但我错了。
He is devastated over the loss of his sweet mother, but to allow such things to ultimately destroy you, well, that is not what she would want, and not what we “believe” in.
丧母之痛让他痛不欲生。但是在天国的母亲一定不愿意看到自己的孩子沉沦在痛苦之中，我们也不会沉沦痛苦之中。
I’ve been struggling to realize what the lesson could be out of this. I tried all this time to figure out the lessons to be had out of my own mother’s untimely death, and I think I was getting to it.
我一直在纠结，究竟这样的一件事中，我们可以学到什么。母亲死后，我尝试用各种方法来找出答案，而我也觉得我在一步步接近答案。
Then this happened, and so suddenly. I was left quite confused. If there are lessons to be learned from tragedy, what is this lesson?
直到这次事件的忽然发生。我非常困惑。我们能从悲剧中有所收获，这种收获是什么呢？
We are not always meant to know the why behind the wisdom.
我们并非时时能看出智慧背后的根源。
Why would she have to go through such a horror for us to learn some lesson? Is there a lesson, or does none of it mean anything?
为什么我们学到这样的经验教训要以她经历这样的痛苦为代价呢？真的有这样的经验教训值得我们学习吗？还是什么都没有？
I don’t know why his mother had to succumb in this way or what the exact reasoning is, but I do know we are all connected, and there is some reason behind all of what has happened to my family over these last three months, and there has been an avalanche of events, believe me.
我不知道为什么婆婆会以这样的方式离开我们，这有怎样的道理。我只知道我们是一家人，在过去三个月以来发生在我们家身上的事情是有其道理的。世上万事万物，无不如此。
Some have said to me, “When it rains, it pours.” This may be true, but I’ve always had faith that everything would be okay.
有人曾对我说：“屋漏偏逢连夜雨”。生活有时或许如此，但是我一直坚信一切都总有雨过天晴的一天。
I have learned that the beauty of the human spirit is that it is so strong; it can overcome almost anything. I have learned that love and kindness really do matter—that even when horrible things are done to one another, we can still band together and find forgiveness.
人类精神的精髓在于其坚强。它能克服这世上一切困难。爱与善非常重要，即使悲剧发生，爱与善会让我们凝聚在一起，谅解他人。
Hatefulness does not have to exist, and the absence of it during something like this does not tarnish the memory of the person we mourn; it makes it, and us, stronger.
并不一定要憎恨，就如在此次事件中一样，没有憎恨并不会削减我们对亲人一丝一毫的怀念，放下仇恨，我们会更加坚强。
We are much stronger than we think.
我们比想象中坚强
Time after time the human spirit has had an attempt on its strength and we’ve seen where it has not been broken. We can all be pillars of strength and compassion. You just have to allow it.
时光流转，人类精神会越来越坚强，我们能明白为什么它不会被破坏。我们都能成为坚强、同情的支柱，但是你要敞开心扉。
Allowing your emotion does not hurt you. It heals you; makes you stronger. Spread loving kindness, good vibrational energy, positive emotions, and see what it does for you and those around you.
敞开心扉并不会伤害你，相反，它能治愈你，让你变得坚强。传播善意，正能量，积极情绪，看看会给你和你身边的人带来怎样的变化。
We are an experiment in spiritual evolution. Things that happen to us hurt, I know. I would not be pretentious enough to sit here and speak about rainbows and flowers when life can be so ugly and mean. I’ve been there.
我们是精神进化的试验品。我知道发生在我们身上的事情伤人至深。当生活充满坚信苦痛的时候，我也不会假惺惺地坐在这里和你大谈生活之美。我曾经历过那样的苦痛。
My husband and I have endured some of the most devastating things in our lives. And I’m not just talking about the deaths of our mothers. We’ve been devastated by financial loss, personal heartbreaks—troubled times I would never wish on anyone.
我和丈夫都经历了人生中最艰辛的时刻，我所说得并不只丧母之痛，还有经济困境和个人的心痛。我不愿见这些悲惨遭遇发生在任何人身上。
Almost daily I see other people’s stories about hard times on TV and I still say, “Wow, that’s nothing.” We truly have been through some serious stuff. It took me a long time to let all of that go.
现在我在电视上看到别人遭遇悲惨的时候，我仍然会说，“其实没什么”，我们真的经历过很艰难的时刻，我花了很长一段时间才放下那一切。
I have only just begun to feel the spiritual awakening in myself, off and on since 2008, maybe, with a long period of going back to my old ways in there for probably a year. But once it begins, you can’t ignore it. Once it’s in you, you can’t go back from it; it doesn’t go away.
有一年的时间，我沉浸在回忆里，自2008我我才刚刚开始意识到自己精神的觉醒，这种意识断断续续。但是，一旦精神开始觉醒，你就不能忽略它。一旦它出现，你就不能回头了，它不会离开了。
One of the most helpful philosophies I learned was from Eckhart Tolle. He basically stated that it’s not the things that happen to you that your pain arises from, but your reaction to it.
埃克哈特·托勒教会了我最有帮助的哲学。他指出，悲痛的根源并非你的遭遇，而是你所作出的反应。
I have changed my life based on this and many other writings by Tolle, Dr. Dyer, Louise Hay, and others.
读了托勒，戴尔博士，路易斯和其他人的文章，我已经极大地改变了我的生活。
Pain invites us to grow.
痛让我们成长
I hated how I felt. I chose to change. It can be done. You don’t have to rush. It will happen exactly as it is supposed to.
我憎恨自己的感觉，我要改变，我可以改变。不要着急，顺其自然。
When you allow yourself to be instead of trying so hard to do all the time, you will be listening to you inner being, and you will finally hear it. You will notice all of the synchronicities happening in your life; the paths to the right destinations for you will open up.
顺应自然，不要刻意为之，倾听自己内心的声音，你终会明了自己的心。你会发现生活中一切时间的共时性，通往正确的目的地之门就在眼前。
We could have crawled into a dark hole and shut ourselves off from the rest of the world after what has happened to us. But we won’t do that. We deserve better. And so do you.
不幸发生之后，我们本可能将自己困在黑洞中，与世隔绝。但是我们没有这么做，因为有更好的未来在等待我们，我们值得，你们也一样。
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