in you. Here are some tips on the art of small talk.
如何找到你性格中的外向部分。这里有一些关于闲聊艺术的建议。
Making casual conversation doesn't come naturally for me. In fact, the idea of talking to a stranger at a cocktail party makes me want to hide behind the ferns: "Don't mind me, I'm not really here." It's not just me—for any born introvert, making small talk can be downright excruciating.
随意的谈话对我来说并不容易。事实上，在鸡尾酒会上与一个陌生人交谈，会让我想躲在蕨类植物后面：“不用管我，我不是真的在这里。”这不只是我，闲聊对任何天生内向的人都是彻头彻尾的痛苦。
But casual conversation can lead to important relationships. Three years ago, I met my fiance at the airport. If I hadn't mustered the courage to say hello, some other woman would have hopped in line right in front of me, so to speak.
但随意的谈话可能会造就重要的关系。三年前，我在机场遇到了我的未婚夫。可以这么说，如果我没有鼓足勇气打个招呼，别的女人可能会在我之前冲上去。
The truth is, anything can happen when you stick your neck out. You might meet a new client, stumble on your next roommate, or meet a future friend. You just never know.
事实是，如果你积极与他人谈话，任何事情都有可能发生。你可能会遇到一个新的客户端，绊倒你的下一个室友，或遇到一个未来的朋友。谁知道呐。
So how do you cultivate a more extroverted you? We all hope that the other person will assume the burden of a conversation. But master conversationalist and The Fine Art of Small Talk author Debra Fine says that it's up to you to take on the responsibility of making others feel comfortable.
那么，如何培养出更外向的你呢？我们都希望其他人来承担闲谈的责任。但健谈者---《闲聊的艺术》作者黛布拉·凡说，应该由你来承担闲谈的责任，这会使别人感到舒服。
Here are a few pointers to get you talking:
这里有几个能够帮助你学会闲谈的建议。
The Polite Introduction
礼貌性的自我介绍
When you're introducing people—or if you're introducing yourself—say names slowly and offer information. "This is Larry, he just got a new job as an urban planner here in town." Or you can point out common interests: "Both of you are Red Sox fans."
当你在介绍别人——或者是你在介绍自己时——说名字时要慢并提供相关信息。“这是拉里，他找到了一份城市规划师的新工作。”或者，你可以指出共同兴趣：“你们都是红袜队球迷。”
What Was Her Name Again?
请再说一遍她叫什么
She said her name and it flew out of your brain a nanosecond later. It will do you no good to forget the name of the person you're talking to. So open your ears and really listen. One trick is repeating the name of the person a few times.
她说了她的名字但是瞬间后你忘记了。忘记跟你说话的人的名字对你没有任何好处。因此，打开你的耳朵，认真的的倾听。一个小妙招是多重复几次那个人的名字。
Be Prepared
做好准备
Formulate a few questions that will generate interest. For example, think about the day's current events. Make sure to keep up to date with the daily paper or tune in to your radio station and study up—be it earthquakes, hurricanes, elections, or scandals.
制定一些会产生兴趣的问题。例如，想想当天的时事。确保紧跟最新的报纸或收听广播电台并研究热门话题-----是地震，飓风，选举还是丑闻。
Making Eye Contact
要有眼神交流
Look the person you are speaking to in the eye. This is something Bill Clinton practices routinely; he makes the person in his presence feel as though he is the only one in the room. When we listen to every word and digest everything that's said, it makes for more meaningful conversation.
注视着和你说话的人的眼睛。这是比尔·克林顿的常规做法，他使对方感觉到好像房间里只有自己一样。如果我们能倾听每一个字，理解所说的所有事，就会使对话更有意义。
Something to Work With
给出启发性的信息
Don't give short answers. If a person asks about your occupation, don't say "sales" and leave it at that. Give him something to work with. Let him know what area of sales you work in and if you travel, where you have visited recently.
不要只给出简短的回答。如果一个人询问你的职业，不要仅仅只说“销售”。给他一些启发性的信息。让他知道你是从事哪方面的销售工作的，如果你最近旅行了，那么你去过哪里。
Now Let's Talk About Me!
现在，让我们谈谈我吧！
Asking a person what he likes to do for fun can be a big door opener—that's because people love to talk about themselves. Show an interest in their interests and recreational activities. Ask leading questions: If the person went to an exhibit, ask what she liked most and why.
问一个人，他喜欢做什么来找乐子，是通往闲谈道路的大门，这是因为人们喜欢谈论自己。要显示出你对他们的兴趣和休闲活动很感兴趣。提出引导性的问题：如果一个人去看过展览会，那么问她最喜欢什么以及为什么喜欢那个。
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