Giving gifts can be risky. Not everyone likes everything, and some people are very vocal about expressing their dislike. Relationships, especially new ones, are particularly fraught with gift-giving difficulties because you haven’t reached a point of mutual directness in terms of what you dislike about each other.
表达自己的不满。情侣们，尤其是那些刚刚牵手的情侣，挑选礼物对他们而言尤为棘手，因为你们的关系还没有熟到可以直接表达不满。
So, how do you give gifts the right way? There’s some science to it, Sumathi Reddy wrote in The Wall Street Journal, and it may help you be a more successful giver of gifts. Here are some relevant points to consider:
那么你如何才能选对礼物呢？这里面大有学问。苏马蒂•雷迪在《华尔街日报》的文章中道出了一些送礼的学问，可能有助于你变身为“送礼达人”。下面是一些送礼时可供参考的要点：
Re-gift without guilt
转送礼物，无需内疚
According to a recent study published in Psychological Science, the original gift giver is less likely to be offended by your thankless re-gifting than you might think. If you have a pile of gifts you hate, go ahead and get rid of them.
《心理科学》最新刊登的一项研究显示，最初的送礼人并不会像你想的那样，因为你这种看似辜负他人心意的转送行为而生气。如果你想借机“处理”掉那些你不喜欢的礼物，大胆去送吧。
The original gift giver might not be angry, or at least less than you’d think. “The reason people weren’t overly bothered when their gifts were later re-gifted was because they generally believed the recipient was free to decide what to do with an item, ” Reddy wrote.
最初送礼物的人可能并不生气，或者至少不像你想的那般生气。雷迪写道：“人们并不会特别介意自己送出的礼物被转送，因为他们普遍认为收礼者有权决定如何利用这些礼物。”
The thought doesn’t count
关键不在心意
It’s actually the gift that counts, and not the thought behind it, according to the study. “The benefit of a thoughtful gift actually accrues mainly to the giver, who derives a feeling of closeness to the other person, ” columnist Jen Doll wrote in the Atlantic Wire.
该项研究显示，关键不在于送礼者的心意，而在于礼物本身。《大西洋线报》的专栏作家珍•多尔写道：“一份花尽心思的礼物，主要受益者则是送礼者，他们因此觉得和他人之间更加亲密。”
Doesn’t that turn the tables nicely? Those people adamant about giving thoughtful gifts are just selfish jerks, while the rest of us materialists are gift-giving the right way. “In fact, thoughtfulness only seemed to count when a friend gives a gift that is disliked, ” Reddy explained. The thought and the gift both being bad seems the key scenario to avoid here.
是否感觉局面巧妙地出现扭转？那些执着于送心意的人是自私的傻瓜，而其他实用享乐主义者却送对了礼物。雷迪解释说，“实际上，只有在朋友给你一件你不喜欢的礼物时，你才会体谅他的心意。”礼物不周同时心意又不到似乎是送礼的头号禁忌。
Money can’t buy happiness
金钱买不来快乐
Well, this is obvious, especially for a New Year’s gift. If you overspend on a New Year’s gift, close friends and family members will say: “Why not wait until my birthday for such a big gift?” And if you buy an expensive gift for a new friend, they might just feel pressured.
好吧，这一点显而易见，尤其对于新年礼物而言。如果你在新年礼物上砸下血本，好友和家人可能会说：“这种大礼，应该等到我过生日时再送嘛。”如果你给一个新朋友买了件大礼，他们可能只是会觉得很有压力。
What’s more, just because you spend a lot of money on a gift doesn’t mean people are going to like it more, or like it at all. So don’t bother spending a lot of money–unless someone explicitly asks you to.
此外，你在礼物上花了许多钱，这并不意味着人们就会更喜欢它，或者完全买你的账。因此，不要花大价钱来买礼物，除非有人明确要求你这样做。
One might think there is no need for scientists to prove this, but they have, and so we thank them. “People are more appreciative when they receive a gift they have explicitly requested”, said a study published last year in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
你可能以为科学家没必要去验证这一点，但是他们的确这样做了，我们应当感谢他们。去年刊登在《实验社会心理学期刊》的一份研究报告显示：“人们收到之前明确表示过想要的礼物时，会更感动”。
Well, what’d you know? When your best friend asked for an iPod you should have given them the Apple product and not the cheap copy that broke immediately.
好吧，你现在知道了？当你最好的朋友想要iPod时，你就应该给他们买苹果的iPod，而不是易坏的山寨货。
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