10 Things You Should Never Say To A Woman In Her 20s
Want to know something really hilarious and weird? Not every 25-year-old woman you meet on the subway is going to be a die-hard Lena Dunham fan. Or Mindy Kaling fan. Or Tina Fey fan. Just because someone writes about how much they love pizza and hate having to interact with boys does not mean we all signed some flaming contract with the devil to love them unconditionally. Some young women love watching Miranda July movies, some don’t. We may be a target demographic, but we’re not all crying ourselves to sleep every night until they inevitably reboot the Sex and the City franchise. Assuming all young women automatically like the same thing only reveals what you actually think — that we don’t operate as individuals.想知道什么是荒诞又可笑的吗？不是每个你在地铁认识的25岁的女人都是莱娜·邓纳姆、敏迪·凯琳、或者蒂娜·菲的铁杆粉丝。只是因为有些人说她们有多喜欢批萨和多讨厌跟男生打交道，但这并不意味着我们都跟魔鬼签了卖身契发誓要无条件爱他。有些女生喜欢看米兰达·裘莱的电影，有些却不喜欢。我们也许是目标客户群，但我们也不是非得看欲望都市，要不然就会每晚哭着入睡。自以为是地以为所有的女生都喜欢同样的东西，这恰恰反应了你对女生的态度——你认为我们都是一样的。但事实上，我们每个人都不相同。
2. “Aren’t you afraid to live alone?”
2. “你自己一个人住不怕吗？”
There is no need to concern troll over a young woman deciding to get her own apartment. Unless she is moving into a particularly salty neighborhood (in which case, anyone would have cause to worry), it’s mostly just mildly insulting to imply that a girl breaking out and getting a studio all by herself is some drastic, dangerous move. I know the expectation is that the second it comes time to change our first lightbulb, we’re going to break down in heaving sobs and offer sexual favors to the nearest man over six feet tall who can help replace it, but that’s generally not our first course of action. (Or maybe it is, and I just don’t have cute, tall neighbors.)
当一个女生决定自己住一个房子时，完全没有必要过度担心她的安全。除非她是要搬进一个下流的社区（那样的话，任何人都有理由要担心了），否则如果你认为一个女生独自搬进一个房子住是一个非常危险的行为，那么你就带有轻微的蔑视了。我知道下一步人们期待的就是当我们第一次要换灯泡时，我们会奔溃大哭，然后要是附近有六尺高的男生能帮我们的忙，我们会感动到以身相许，但是这通常都不是我的行动方式。（或者也许是，但我还没发现又高又帅的邻居）
3. “Are you so worried about turning ?”
3. “你很担心快到xx岁了吗？”
It could just be my limited perspective, but I’m fairly certain that the brunt of the faux-helpful “Aren’t you soooooo afraid of getting old”-type questions tend to fall on women. With a man, 25 isn’t seen as terribly old — with a woman, it’s halfway through the only viable years she has to find someone to settle down with, apparently. What the hell is one supposed to respond to that, anyway? “Yes, I’m terrified of turning 24. You can only imagine what a histrionic spiral downwards the rest of my life is going to be, given how much of an old maid I feel like when I’m only in my 20s. Do us all a favor and just kill me now, please.”
也许只是我目光狭隘，但对女性来讲，我非常肯定像“难道你不怕变老吗”这样的问题是伪善们最喜欢问的。对于一个男性来说，25岁算不了什么——但是对于必须在可预见的时间里找个人安定下来的女性，这就明显相当于半辈子了。但是，这个问题到底叫人怎么回答呢？“是的，我很担心快到24岁了。我觉得我二十多岁已经老得不得了了，想象一下，我的剩余人生就像正在戏剧性的向下旋转。所以帮帮忙吧，现在就杀了我。”
4. “Why are you working all the time?”
4. “你为什么总是在工作？”
“I’m working all the time because I have dreams and aspirations and like what I do, and I deserve just as much freedom to do so as the 26-year-old male investment banker who is not even remotely required to obfuscate his insane career goals to please the rest of society. Alternatively, I have a shitty job and am forced to work tons of hours against my will. Either way, it’s none of your business.”
“我总是在工作是因为我有梦想有抱负而且喜欢我正在做的事情，并且我值得拥有跟一个26岁的男性投资银行家一样的工作的自由，他甚至都不用老是被要求阐释他那疯狂的职业目标以取悦大众。相反地，我的工作很烂，而且老是被逼着加班加点工作很长时间。但不管怎样，与你何干！”
5. “You’re not fat, you’re pretty!”
5. “你不胖，你很漂亮！”
There is no need to put those two things in mutually exclusive categories for anyone’s benefit. The only thing that is actually being said here is that if you actually were heavy, you would be, by default, unattractive. Aside from the fact that there are plenty of people who are both heavier and gorgeous, the idea that the most effective way to cheer a young woman up is by reminding her that she is physically appealing to society is probably something we could stand to phase out over time.
为了讨好别人，把互不相关的两件事情放在一起是没必要的。这里讨论的事实是，如果你真的很重，那么默认情况下你可能就是没魅力的。除了事实上的确有很多人都是既丰满又漂亮之外，我想让一个胖女生高兴起来的最有效的方法就是告诉她身材很好很有吸引力，然后等时间冲淡这种忧伤吧。
6. “When are you going to get married already?”
6. “你打算什么时候结婚呢？”
Essentially anyone who ever says this, especially to a 23-year-old woman, should be piled into some kind of giant, space-bound Tupperware and shot off into another planet’s orbit. This is not some horrifying Japanese game show where we have to get married before some buzzer goes off and we’re thrown into a bathtub full of live squid. Are you expecting that she’s just going to be like, “You’re so right. I have to get on that. Be right back, I’m gonna go wait outside the prison and take the next guy who gets let out on bail.” We all get to take as much time as we need, and we don’t need to be getting married to prove to anyone else that we’re worthy.
基本上当某人过度过问这个问题，尤其是对一个才23岁的女生过度过问，那么这个人应该被绑在某种巨型特百惠塑料容器中，然后发射到另一个星球的轨道上。这可不是某个恐怖的“要是我们不在警铃爆炸前结婚，我们就会被扔进装满了生鱿鱼的浴缸里”的日本游戏。 难道你要期望她这样说，“你说得没错，我马上就去办了它。我很快就回来，我要去蹲在监狱门外等下一个被释放出狱的家伙。” 我们都需要很长时间，而且我们也并不需要用结婚来向别人证明我们自己的价值。
7. “Don’t you want to have kids before you hit 30?”
7. “难道你不想在30岁前生小孩吗？”
No, I think I’m going to wait until I’m a nicely shriveled-up 84-year-old, then I’m going balls to the wall with IVF and seeing what I can come up with.
不，我想在我变成一个干瘪的84岁老太婆的时候，再大胆尝试试管受精，然后看看我能生出个什么来。
8. “You shouldn’t talk about sex so much.”
8. “你不能老是把性挂在嘴上。”
I think the idea here is that, even if you’re having sex (of which you should not be having too much, because God forbid you break your vagina and lose the warranty or something) you shouldn’t be sharing. Female sex — especially young female sex — is supposed to exist, and never be mentioned in polite conversation. If you enjoy being open about things like masturbation, porn, experiences, or health advice, you’re basically going to get thrown into the societal lake with weights attached to you like a mid-17th century witch, and never be spoken to again. There is a line, and once you’ve crossed it by saying the word “penis” too many times, there is no going back.
我想这里的意思是，即使你有过性经验（当然你不能有太多经验，因为上帝不会允许你肆意损坏你的阴道，以致失去保修机会），你也不应该跟人大肆宣扬。女性的性——尤其是年轻女性的性——是应该存在的，但不能在礼貌的场合里谈及。如果你很享受谈论这些东西比如自慰、情色、经验、或者健康建议，那么你基本上可以像17世纪中的女巫一样被拉去浸猪笼了，而且人们再也不跟你说话。有一条明显的线存在着，一旦你越了线说了太多次“阴茎”，那就再也回不了头了。
9. “Aren’t you afraid of being alone?”
9. “你难道不怕孤独吗？”
Well, to be honest, I’m more afraid of living in a world in which an obscene amount of my personal value and achievement is based on whether I’m being regularly spooned at night, but I seem to be doing alright with that.
老实讲，我更怕生活在这样一个充满可憎的自我价值观的世界里，成就取决于你晚上是否有人相拥而眠。但我似乎对于这一点倒是不太在乎。
10. “You’re not going to meet your husband going to bars like that.”
10. “你不会在酒吧里遇到你未来的老公的。”
You know, as strange as it sounds, sometimes women — even young women, who are in prime “getting hitched” territory — don’t go to bars uniquely to be swept off their feet by their vodka-drunk Prince Charming. Sometimes they go to socialize with friends, sometimes they go to watch a football game, sometimes they go to hang out with the bartender, and sometimes they go just to get a little drunk and party. (Right, like you don’t. You’re too classy, you go to the bar to stay sober and judge people.) In any case, even if she is going to the bar to potentially meet someone, who are you to tell her that she should feel badly for doing so? She might not find a husband there, but she runs a very high risk of having a good time, and — gasp! — women are allowed to be okay with just that.
你知道，虽然听起来很奇怪，但是有时候女性——甚至那些正在典型的“要结婚了”范围里的年轻女性——去酒吧不是只为了被她们那些喝多了的白马王子们哄得人仰马翻。有时候她们是去应酬朋友，有时候她们是去看足球比赛，有时候她们是跟酒保闲聊，而有时候她们只是去喝点小酒找点小乐子。（对，就好像你不会一样。你太经典了，你去酒吧只是为了保持清醒和观察人群。）不管怎样，即使她就是准备去酒吧邂逅某人，你又怎能说她这样做不对呢？她可能不会在那里遇到她的未来老公，但她非常有可能在那里玩得很开心，而——嘘！——没有人说女性不能在酒吧里玩得开心吧！
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