Manjoo.
大家好，我是Slate的科技专栏作者，Farhad Manjoo。
Emily: I’m Emily Yoffe, Slate’s Dear Prudence advice columnist. And this is Manners for the Digital Age.
Emily:我是Emily Yoffe，slate的“亲爱的普鲁登斯”意见专栏作者。欢迎大家收听“数字时代的礼仪”广播节目。
Farhad: Today’s question is from a listener who takes issue with a comment I made back in March. He writes, “Dear Emily and Farhad, something Farhad said on a previous podcast struck me: ‘If you were going out with someone and they don’t have a Facebook profile, you should be suspicious.’ I know many, many people my age (35), often those working in the trades who have no social networking profile. Is that now considered bad manners?
Farhad: 今天的话题发自于我3月份的一条评论，一位听众对于这句话耿耿于怀。他写道：“亲爱的Emily和Farhad，Farhad在先前的播客中说过一句一直困扰着我的话‘如果说你的朋友没有一个Facebook档案，这家伙绝对可疑，是个怪咖。’但是我身边许多35岁左右的朋友，尤其是那些做贸易工作的，他们都没有社交网络账号啊！难道我们这样就算没有礼貌吗？先抛开约会不说，如果我的未来老板们发现我没有社交网络档案，他们会给我减印象分吗？我是时候去创建一个个人主页了吗？但是，那些什么添加关注啊，他们要粉我啊之类的，我会受不了的。尤其是以后还不断要登入登出，想起都烦人。”
“Leaving aside dating, will my not having a social networking profile seem odd if potential employers search for me? Should I have a generic one for such things? But then, once I set it up, friends are going to want to add me and back I go to that overwhelming feeling. The cycle continues.” Signed, Linked Out.
既然是我先挑起这个话题的，那么女士优先，Emily你说不玩社交是不是就算怪人或没礼貌之举？
So, Emily, since I’m the one who provoked this question, I’ll let you weigh in first. Is it weird or rude to not have a social networking profile?
Emily: 好吧，我觉得问题应该是这样：不玩社交？难道你们是神秘人？有大阴谋？或者说你们是变态色魔兼连环杀手？但其实，就如听众所提到的年龄，这才是关键所在。如果是学生的话，没有的话的确不寻常。虽然我自己觉得可以接受，但大家一定不这样想。
Emily: Well, I guess the question is: will you seem mysterious and intriguing or will it signal obvious sex offender serial killer? I think, first of all, the letter writer makes a good point about his age. For college students, it is a little weird. I think it’s fine, but it’s going to be odd.
但是如果你是35岁或以上，我真的不认为没有Facebook有什么大不了的。毕竟年龄摆在那，我们对社交没有那么大热情。
But if you’re 35 or over, I really don’t think we’ve gotten to the point where if you don’t have a Facebook page, you’re somehow signaling you’re socially inept.
我认为Facebook不同于历史上其他科技产品。我几十岁的人了，见识不少，但当我想起当时电话机的出现，上帝啊，谁会稀罕这古怪东西。但是后来证明如果你没有电话机，真的是大错特错了。同样，手机也是属于这类。
I think Facebook is somewhat different from other technologies. I’m old enough, I’ve mentioned before, to remember when answering machines first came in. God, who needs that? Just call back. Then it became if you didn’t have one, you’re incredibly rude. It’s the same thing with cell phones.
明显这些才是每个人的必须品，手机使我们和身边的人随时保持联络。Facebook却像一个自我展示牌。难道要求我们每个人时刻都在刷微博吗？我不认同。
But those are pure technologies that finally everyone has and you need to be able to get in touch with other people. Facebook is a form of display. I don’t think we’ve gotten to the point where we’re all required to fluff our plumage all the time.
Farhad:我完全不同意你的观点。让我重申一下那期播客我说过什么，问题源自一个关于网上约会的争论。我说你想约一个人，却在Facebook上找不着北，或者说在其他社交账号也一样。你连他（她）一张照片也没有，你不该对他感到可疑吗？那家伙肯定隐瞒着什么。
Farhad: I totally disagree with that. Let me first address what I said before. That question came up in the context of a debate about online dating. I said that if you’re going to set up a date with someone and you can’t find anything about them on Facebook… I’d extend that to other social networks. If you can’t find a photo of them and there’s no photo on the dating site either, then you should be suspicious. That person seems to be trying to hide something.
Emily:Farhad，我们个个都有自己的秘密好不。
Farhad: Well, the person might be married or have a girlfriend, or in some ways trying to hide their activities. I don’t think it’s a slam-dunk case. I don’t think that’s necessarily the situation, but I would be a little bit suspicious.
Farhad:好吧，我觉得那些家伙要么是已婚或者是有男女朋友的，再不就是做着什么不见得光的事。我不敢百分百保证，不敢说就是以上那几种情况。但是我肯定他们有问题。
But to the letter writer’s question beyond dating, I think that it’s better to have a social networking profile for a couple reasons. You are taking control of your online life then. If you have nothing about yourself online, your friends may post stuff about you on Facebook, you may come up on a news story, you may come up on a search engine. I think it’s better just generally to take control of your presence online.
但是那位听众说不限于约会，所以我觉得最好还是建一个社交档案吧，的确你自己可以选择去过怎样的网上生活，你或许在网络上没有留下什么，但是你的朋友可能会@你啊，你可能出现在新闻中啊，出现在搜索引擎中啊。所以我觉得最好还是玩玩社交吧，可以找点网络存在感。
And if you don’t have one, I think people will judge you based on that. Maybe it’s different in some circles. This guy says he works in the trades. I think that in some kinds of professions, it’s not as necessary as others. In our profession, it seems like it’s required.
如果说你没有一个账号，他们会对你带有色眼镜的，但或许不是所有领域的人都这样。这位听众说他在贸易那方面工作，所以我认为有些职业并不是很需要。但对于我们传媒工作者，我觉得是必要的。
I’ve looked at the numbers for Facebook. If you look at the demographics, it’s not like only young people have Facebook. It pretty much cuts across most demographic lines, and from what I can tell, also socioeconomic lines. They have a billion people around the world. Lots of people are on Facebook and I think you’re kind of judged now, for better or worse, if you don’t.
我看过Facebook相关用户分布分析，你看看一下这些统计资料就知道Facebook并不是年轻人的潮物。用户统计覆盖了大多数领域，我敢说社会经济学领域也会是相似的结果。这领域上有10亿人，他们大部分都玩Facebook，所以我觉得不管怎样，Emily你这判断还是有点轻率了。
Emily: All right. But, the Facebook profile also allows a lot of judgments to be raised. Who is that woman who your arm is around? Is that your sister or someone else for the dating world? For the professional world, gee, do you know that one of your friends is a roaring racist and is linked to all sorts of creepy stuff that you haven’t removed? You have to be attentive to this thing.
Emily：好吧，但我必须要说的是，Facebook这里面龙蛇混杂，大家要保持警惕。你搂住的那个女人是谁？是你的姐妹还是你的约会对象？这个虚拟世界中，你知道你的好友是个种族主义者又或是个充满怪癖的人吗？因此你必须打醒十二分精神。
Farhad: Oh, yeah!
Farhad: 嗯，算你对！
Emily: I really think, as I say, it’s different from a simple technology. I remember when my daughter was in kindergarten and I was the room mother. There were a couple of mothers who said to me, “Well, I do have an email account. I never check it, so you need to call me.” I was, “Well, too bad. You won’t know about the picnic, because I’m sending out mass emails.” There’s no grooming or attentiveness to having an email account except -- click -- checking it.
Emily：不过再说一次也无妨，我真的真的觉得它不会成为下一个电话机或手机。我女儿上幼儿园的时候，我是家长代表，有几位妈妈都曾对我说：“我也有E-mail账号啊，但是我老不用它，所以有什么事你记得打电话给我。”我答她说，“哎，怪不得有聚餐你也不知道，我一直发邮件通知各位家长的。”电子邮件这些东西太虚了，如果你不去点开查收，你甚至会经常忘记有这样一样东西。
But your Facebook, as you say, is your passport to the world of who I am, and I really think it’s fair enough for people to say, “I don’t want to do it, ” and not be thought of as hiding something.
但是你的Facebook，正如你所说，是通向世界各地的护照，我想大家有权无须受到质疑地说：“我不需要这个东西。”
Farhad: I agree with you. It’s work. This guy says he feel overwhelmed by it. He raises setting up a generic profile, but that’s going to still be work. I agree. But, it’s your reputation. You have to maintain your reputation in the offline world. If somebody is talking about you and telling untruths about you, you have deal with it and you have to deal with it online.
Farhad: 我认同你。这其实是工作所需。这位听众他对社交网络是感到厌烦的。他也举到创建一个通用账号的例子，这其实依然是迫于工作的压力。但是，这其实也是你的声誉，你在线下世界要维护自己的声誉。如果有人对你诽谤，你必须进行还击，同时也要通过网络进行还击。
Emily: There’s a new bestseller about introverts and how we’re all, particularly because of social media, trying to force people into this, “Come on! We’re all connected and gregarious.” I just don’t think personally or professionally a Facebook page is necessary. I think this guy is right. I think you have a very good point that you’ve got to be checking in with your name. What does your name turn up or does it turn up nothing? What control do you want to take of that?
Emily：最近有本针对内向者的畅销书，介绍说因为社交网络而使世界每个人都变得相互联系和热衷社交。
But, I disagree with you. My bottom line is NOT that Facebook is unfortunately for everyone the answer, you can’t avoid it, you have to have it or else you look like a serial killer.
我始终认为Facebook不是必要的，这位听众也说得对。而Farhad你那条关于维护好自己声誉的观点也说得通，但是你那么在乎你的名字吗？如果声誉对我意义不大呢？你还要去维护什么？所以我又可以反驳你了，所以我的底线是说，只有少数人对Facebook敏感，你可以不用它，你绝不会因为没有一个账号就被标上连环杀手的代号。
Farhad: P.S. If it will be odd if potential employers search for him and they don’t find anything. I think more often than not these days, it will be odd. It depends on the profession. But I think that in many professions, finding something about someone on Facebook and finding a profile that is positive (finding something that’s not a picture of them drinking) could add to that person’s value to the company.
Farhad: 另外，如果说未来老板因为找不到我的Facebook主页而作出减分。我觉得目前大多数情况不会，但是将来不一定。这视乎于你的职业，不过通常来说，在大多数领域上，老板看到你的主页有一些体现你能力的东西就绝对会为你加分（只要不要把你喝醉酒的照片贴上去）。
I suggest he set up a generic profile and put the maximum privacy settings on it so that his friends can’t do terrible stuff. It won’t take too long to do it.
我建议这位听众他建立一个主页并且尝试花一点点时间做好隐私设置，这样他的朋友们就不会在他的Facebook上乱来。
Emily: Send us your questions about shifting etiquette in the online age. Our address isdigitalmanners@slate.com
Emily：节目最后，有什么关于网络时代新礼仪的问题和想法，尽管投稿吧。我们的地址是
Farhad: You can also join our Facebook page where we carry on the conversation throughout the week. Go to www. Facebook.com/digitalmanners.
Farhad: 你也可以关注我们的Facebook，随时留意我们一周播客话题动态。地址是
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