We all have to pay the bills, but sometimes the office is literally the last place in the universe you want to be. The reasons can run the gamut, but life has a way of occurring just when a deadline looms large. So employees can sometimes be led to creative extremes to find a way to take a day off.
我们都有沉重的生活负担，但是有时候你还是非常不想去上班。原因千奇百怪，但是我们在最后关头才突然想起来。所以有些员工创意无限的制造出很多奇思妙想的借口来请假。
In CareerBuilder's annual survey, 29 percent of workers admitted to playing hooky this year, citing errands and plans with family or friends among their top reasons for calling in sick. But some employees like to get more creative. Here are 15 of the strangest excuses employers said they heard:
凯业必达的年度调查表明，29%的员工承认他们今年旷过工，理由有出差或者和家人或朋友度假等，而最常用的理由就是生病。不过有些员工更加有创意。下面是老板所见过的最离奇的15个理由：
Employee's 12-year-old daughter stole his car and he had no other way to work. Employee didn't want to report it to the police.
1.员工的12岁的女儿偷了他的车，而他没有其他的交通工具，并且不想报警。
Employee said bats got in her hair.
2.员工说有蝙蝠钻进她的头发里。
Employee said a refrigerator fell on him.
3.员工说被冰箱砸到。
Employee was in line at a coffee shop when a truck carrying flour backed up and dumped the flour into her convertible.
4.员工在咖啡馆排队的时候，一辆装着面粉的卡车倒车时不小心把面粉洒在了她的敞篷车里。
Employee said a deer bit him during hunting season.
5.员工在打猎时被一头鹿咬伤。
Employee ate too much at a party.
6.员工在聚会时吃多了。
Employee fell out of bed and broke his nose.
7.员工从床上跌下来，摔坏了鼻子。
Employee got a cold from a puppy.
8.员工被自己的小狗传染上了感冒。
Employee's child stuck a mint up his nose and had to go to the ER to remove it.
9.员工孩子的鼻子里进了一颗薄荷糖，不得不进急诊室将其取出。
Employee hurt his back chasing a beaver.
10.员工在追赶一只海狸时背部受伤。
Employee got his toe caught in a vent cover.
11.员工的脚趾卡进了通气孔塞。
Employee had a headache after going to too many garage sales.
12.员工去旧货市场次数太多，头痛。
Employee's brother-in-law was kidnapped by a drug cartel while in Mexico.
13.员工的姐夫在墨西哥时被贩毒团伙绑架。
Employee drank anti-freeze by mistake and had to go to the hospital.
14.员工误喝了防冻剂不得不进医院。
Employee was at a bowling alley and a bucket filled with water (due to a leak) crashed through the ceiling and hit her on the head.
15.员工在打保龄球时，一个装满水的水桶穿过天花板（天花板上有裂缝）掉下来砸到了她的头上。
Inspired by CareerBuilder's weirdest excuses for calling in sick, below are our 10 worst excuses for missing work:
下面是凯业必达的年度调查中列出的请病假的最稀奇的10个借口：
It may have been the meal of a lifetime, rendering you completely useless, but a succulent filet mignon is not a viable get-out-of-work-card. Even if you can't button up your pants after a 10-courser, and are in greater need of a nap than an infant, you should still power through.
1.食物昏迷（进食过多引起的倦慵感） 也许这是难得一遇的一顿美味，使你所有的克制都变为徒劳，但是鲜美多只的菲力牛排并不是旷工的通行证。即使在你打完十次猎仍不能系住你的裤子，即使你这会比一个初生的婴儿更需要打个盹，你也应该快步走开。
Pets are living, breathing animals just like us. Their medical care requires our full attention, and an entire field of medicine is devoted to their well-being -- veterinary care. And issues related to their physical condition might even require a visit to such a specialist. But the line stops at their emotional well-being. If your dog is in the dumps for missing a treat, that shouldn't require a furlough for his personal crisis.
2.悲伤的宠物 宠物是鲜活的会呼吸的玩具。它们的医疗保健需要我们全身心的关注，并且最完整的护理就是保证他们的健康——兽医护理。有关它们身体条件的问题可能还需要去请教这样的专业人士。但是到此为止吧，我们并不需要关注它们的幸福感。要是你的小狗因为错过一次治疗而郁郁寡欢，这并不需要你专门请假。
If you hit the town the night before, you should still be at your desk first thing in the morning. The office may have been a far-off thought when you threw back that 10th shot of tequila, but the two will surely be in direct conflict some eight hours later. They say coconut water is the best cure for a hangover.
3.宿醉 如果你前天晚上喝醉了，你早上应该做的第一件事仍然是坐在办公桌前。当你回想起昨晚第10杯龙舌兰酒时，办公室仿佛是遥远而恍惚的所在，但是关于这两者的比较最好在下班之后。据说椰子汁是最好的解救之物。
The deadlines are piling up, your boss won't stop riding you, and the only three words on your mind are, "off the rack." Our consumer society allows for few greater forms of catharsis than a shopping day. But it can wait till the weekend.
4.购物节 急需完成的工作堆积如山，老板在你耳边唠叨个没完没了，而你的脑海里只有三个字，“购物节。”在如今的消费社会，似乎没有比血拼更有效的发泄方式了。但是最好等到周末再去。
Your head is pounding, and the last place in the world you want to be is at your computer screen. You know some fresh air or the confines of your home is just the antidote you need for that headache, but just take an Advil to make it through the day.
5.头疼 你头痛欲裂，最不想面对的就是电脑屏幕。你也知道，这会对你来说新鲜的空气和躺在床上休息才是你想要的，但是还是吃颗止痛药坚持到下班再说。
We've all been there -- scribbling the name of that special someone on the yellow pad in the middle of a meeting. But going home to cry in bed is taking it too far with that deadline looming.
6.悲伤心碎 我们都有过这样的经历——开会的时候在便签纸上漫无目的的写着某人的名字。但是当工作迫在眉睫的时候，不顾一切的跑回家倒头恸哭太过头了。
The way our economy works is that people specialize. We may not have been put on this planet to have such specific roles at the expense of all else. But it is a way to maximize efficiency for the market. So if your jobs requires you to work as a computer technician around the block, just go to the butcher's shop, instead of taking a day to get into the wild in search of wild boar.
7.狩猎 这种人研究的就是经济是如何运作的。在这个星球上，我们可能还没有被赋予可以为之不惜一切代价的角色。但这是使市场效益最大的方式。因此如果你的工作需要你像个计算机技术员一样在社区周围转悠，你还是干脆去肉铺算了，别郑重其事的专门请假去野外大野猪了。
The ticket office opens at noon, and if you sleep outside overnight, you'll get in the first row for the reunion concert special. But you really should not call in sick when you can get someone else to stand in line. Instead, just listen to the band at your desk.
8.在售的演唱会门票 售票处中午才开门，要是你不惜露宿街头，第二天就会坐在这场演唱会的第一排。但是当你能找到人代你排队买票时，你真的不应该请病假。在你的办公桌上听那些乐队的演唱就够了。
After college ends, and we enter the working world, we are inevitably forced to separate ourselves from the old house/room/suitemate. And there's nothing quite like the reunion to allow yourself to return to those carefree days when the biggest concern was figuring out how to schedule your classes so you can sleep in. But such a meet-up is not an acceptable excuse to miss a morning meeting.
9.有朋自远方来 毕业之后，我们进入了职场，不可避免的与旧时的朋友分道扬镳。再没有神马能比昔日的同学重聚更能让你想起那无忧无虑的时光，那时候最关心的就是怎么安排课程，可以睡个安稳的大头觉。但是这样的聚会并不是错过晨会的合适借口。
10. iPhone Release
10.苹果发布会 就算你手上捧着最新的苹果的产品，你的人生也不会因此而有所不同。已故的史蒂夫·乔布斯在推广苹果新产品的发布和销售上是个天才。但是同时他也是公司的掌控者，确保在第一天销售时不会售罄。
Your life really isn't going to be all that different once you get your hands on that newest Apple product. The late Steve Jobs was a wizard in promoting the release of each new iPhone so as to boost sales. But he was also a master in overseeing a company that will surely not sell out on the first day of sales.
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