在我小时候，我记得我们有一只名叫“黑姑娘”的狼狗，她不仅不能看家，而且很胆小并且神经质，甚至对卡车的声音和印地安那的雷雨也恐惧不已，我的妹妹珍妮和我在她身上下了不少心，但是我们没能赢得她的信任，她以前的主人总是打她，我们不知道为了什么，但是无论因为什么，这尚不足以使这条狗丧失忠诚。
When I was very young I remember that we had this crazy mutt of a dog named Black Girl, a mix of wolf and retriever. Not only wasn't she much of a guard dog, she was such a scared and nervous thing that it is a wonder she did not pass out every time a truck rumbled by, or a thunderstorm swept through Indiana. My sister Janet and I gave that dog so much love, but we never really won back the sense of trust that had been stolen from her by her previous owner.
如今许多冷漠的年轻人都是受伤害的可怜人。他们一点也不关心他们的父母。他们独来独往，捍卫他们的独立。他们不停地向前，而把父母抛在了后面。还有更糟的孩子，他们怨恨父母，甚至父母的任何可能的提议都会被激烈地驳回。
We knew he used to beat her. We didn't know with what. But whatever it was, it was enough to suck the spirit right out of that dog. A lot of kids today are hurt puppies who have weaned themselves off the need for love. They couldn't care less about their parents. Left to their own devices, they cherish their independence. They have moved on and have left their parents behind.
今晚，我不希望我们之中任何人犯这样的错误，这就是为什么我正号召全世界的孩子--和我们今晚在场的人一起开始--宽恕我们的父母，如果我们觉得被忽略，那么宽恕他们并且教他们怎样爱。 听到我没有一个幸福童年时您可能并不吃惊，我和我父亲的紧张关系就是一例。
Then there are the far worse cases of children who harbor animosity and resentment toward their parents, so that any overture that their parents might undertake would be thrown forcefully back in their face. Tonight, I don't want any of us to make this mistake. That's why I'm calling upon all the world's children -- beginning with all of us here tonight -- to forgive our parents, if we felt neglected. Forgive them and teach them how to love again. You probably weren't surprised to hear that I did not have an idyllic childhood. The strain and tension that exists in my relationship with my own father is well documented.
我父亲是个严厉的人，从记事起，他努力地让我们尽量做好的演员，他不善于表达爱，他从不说他爱我，也从未夸奖我，如果我表现的很棒，他会说不错，如果我表现的还行，他就什么也不说，让我们取得事业的成功是他最热切的希望，我的父亲是个天才管理者，我和我的哥哥们在事业上不成功，他就以强迫的方式，让我成为一个演员，在他的指导下，我没有错过任何一个机遇，但我真正想要的是一个让我感觉到爱的父亲，我的父亲却不是这样，在他直视着我时从不说爱我，从未和我玩过一个游戏，没有玩过骑马，没有扔过枕头，没有玩过水球，但我记得我四岁那年，有一个小的狂欢节，他把我放在小马上，这样小的一个动作，或许他五分钟就忘记了，但因为那一刻，在我心里，他有了一个特别的位置，这就是孩子，很小的事情对他们意味着很多，对我亦如此，那一刻意味着一切，我仅仅经历过一次，但那感觉真好，对他也是对世界的感觉！
My father is a tough man and he pushed my brothers and me hard, from the earliest age, to be the best performers we could be. He had great difficulty showing me affection. He never really told me he loved me. And he never really complimented me either. If I did a great show, he would tell me it was a good show. And if I did an OK show, he would say nothing. He seemed intent, above all else, on making us a commercial success. And at that he was more than adept. My father was a managerial genius and my brothers and I owe our professional success, in no small measure, to the forceful way that he pushed us. He trained me as a showman and under his guidance I couldn't miss a step. But what I really wanted was a Dad. I wanted a father who showed me love. And my father never did that. He never said I love you while looking me straight in the eye, he never played a game with me. He never gave me a piggyback ride, he never threw a pillow at me, or a water balloon. But I remember once when I was about four years old, there was a little carnival and he picked me up and put me on a pony. It was a tiny gesture, probably something he forgot five minutes later. But because of that moment I have this special place in my heart for him. Because that's how kids are, the little things mean so much to them and for me, that one moment meant everything. I only experienced it that one time, but it made me feel really good, about him and the world.
但是现在我自己也当爸爸了，有一天我正在想着我自己的孩子Prince、Paris，还有我希望他们长大后怎样看我。我肯定的是，我希望他们想起我的时候，能记得我不管去哪，都要他们在我身边，想起我如何总是把他们放在一切之前。但他们的生活里总是有挑战。因为我的孩子们总是被那些八卦小报跟踪，他们也不能和我经常去公园或者影院。
But now I am a father myself, and one day I was thinking about my own children, Prince and Paris and how I wanted them to think of me when they grow up. To be sure, I would like them to remember how I always wanted them with me wherever I went, how I always tried to put them before everything else. But there are also challenges in their lives. Because my kids are stalked by paparazzi, they can't always go to a park or a movie with me.
所以如果他们长大了之后怨恨我，那又怎么样呢？我的选择给他们的童年带来了多大的影响？他们也许会问，为什么我们没有和其他孩子一样的童年呢？在那一刻，我祈祷，我的孩子能够理解我。他们会对自己说：“我们的爸爸已经尽了他最大努力，他面对的是独一无二的状况。他或许不完美，但他却是个温和正派的人，想把这世上所有的爱都给我们。”
So what if they grow older and resent me, and how my choices impacted their youth? Why weren't we given an average childhood like all the other kids, they might ask? And at that moment I pray that my children will give me the benefit of the doubt. That they will say to themselves: "Our daddy did the best he could, given the unique circumstances that he faced. " He may not have been perfect, but he was a warm and decent man, who tried to give us all the love in the world."
我希望他们能总是把焦点放在那些积极的方面，比如我心甘情愿为他们做出的牺牲；而不是那些他们不得不放弃的事情，或我在抚养他们的过程中犯过的或不能避免犯下的错误。因为我们都曾是他人的孩子，而且我们都清楚，尽管有非常好的计划和努力，错误仍总是会发生。因为人孰无过？
I hope that they will always focus on the positive things, on the sacrifices I willingly made for them, and not criticize the things they had to give up, or the errors I've made, and will certainly continue to make, in raising them. For we have all been someone's child, and we know that despite the very best of plans and efforts, mistakes will always occur. That's just being human.
当我想到这，想到我是多么希望我的孩子不会觉得我不够好，而且会原谅我的缺点时，我不得不想起我自己的父亲，不管我之前是多么地否定他，我必须承认他一定是爱我的。他的确爱我，我知道的。从一件小事就可以看出来，在我小时候，非常喜欢吃甜食--孩子们都这样。我父亲知道我最喜欢吃面包圈。于是每隔几个星期，当我早上从楼上下来时，我都会再厨房的柜台上发现一整袋面包圈--没有字条、没有说明。就像是圣诞老人送来的礼物。
And when I think about this, of how I hope that my children will not judge me unkindly, and will forgive my shortcomings, I am forced to think of my own father and despite my earlier denials, I am forced to admit that me must have loved me. He did love me, and I know that. There were little things that showed it. When I was a kid I had a real sweet tooth -- we all did. My favorite food was glazed doughnuts and my father knew that. So every few weeks I would come downstairs in the morning and there on the kitchen counter was a bag of glazed doughnuts -- no note, no explanation -- just the doughnuts. It was like Santa Claus.
有时我曾经想熬夜藏在一边，以看到他把它们留在那里。但就像对待圣诞老人的传说那样，我不想破坏掉这种神奇幻想，更害怕他再也不会继续。我的父亲得晚上悄悄地把它们留在那里，并不让任何人知道。他害怕提及人类的情感。他不懂也不知道怎么处理。但他就懂得面包圈对我的意义。
Sometimes I would think about staying up late at night, so I could see him leave them there, but just like with Santa Claus, I didn't want to ruin the magic for fear that he would never do it again. My father had to leave them secretly at night, so as no one might catch him with his guard down. He was scared of human emotion, he didn't understand it or know how to deal with it. But he did know doughnuts.
当我打开记忆的洪闸时，更多的回忆涌现出来，那些关于一些微妙动作的记忆，尽管已经不太清晰，但绝对体现了他再尽力而为。于是今晚，与其专注于我父亲没有作到什么，我更愿意专注于所有他历尽艰难尽力作到的事情。我想停止对他的判断。
And when I allow the floodgates to open up, there are other memories that come rushing back, memories of other tiny gestures, however imperfect, that showed that he did what he could. So tonight, rather than focusing on what my father didn't do, I want to focus on all the things he did do and on his own personal challenges. I want to stop judging him. |
