深圳大学 赖小琪
看了你昨天发给我的长长的邮件，我感到无比的感动，同时也感到很忧伤。里面的每个字都在敲击我的心灵与思想，让我思索，让我反省，让我珍惜。我甚至不能相信，这是一个在和疾病抗争，生命可能朝夕不保的人写的。读完这封邮件，我在想，你是怎么写完的？你当时可曾对着电脑哭？泪水可曾打湿键盘？每当我想到这里，我就鼻子一酸，潸然泪下。
Having read the mail you sent me yesterday, I felt more than affected as well as doleful. Every word in the letter stroke my heart and soul, making ponder and reflect on myself and more cherish my life. I even could not believe it was written by someone who is still struggling with disease and on the verge of death. Finishing the letter, I was thinking how you finished writing the letter, whether you cried facing the computer and whether your tears dampened the keyboard. Then I could not help tearing sadly.
医院的林荫道上，微风阵阵，很适合病人散步与休息。空气中迷漫的微微的药水味，在提示着里面的每一个人他们自己的状况。我曾听别人说，当一个人日薄西山时，他喜欢缅怀过去的事情。从你身上，我知道这是千真万确的。每次看望你，不管是我还是其他同学，你都爱向我们说你小时候的事情，还有我们曾经一起出游搞活动的情景。每次你都说得兴高采烈，我们也陪着你笑，然而笑着笑着我们突然会想哭，因为那样的日子今后可能再也不会有了。
At the avenue in the hospital, breeze is coming softly. It is quite suitable for patients to take a walk. But the slight medical aroma flowing in the air reminds patients of their real condition now and again. I have ever heard from some people that when one is approaching the end of life, he is fond of recalling the past. I know it is true from you. Every time I, or some other classmates went to visit you, you often talked about your childhood to us. You also talked about the activities or trips we had got involved in together. And you would feel extremely thrilled. We would laugh with you, but then we just wanted to cry, for we know such gleeful and impressive days will not come to us again.
人有时很奇怪，任何小说杂志描述的情景都不会相信，觉得那是捏造的，非得要自己亲眼看到，才会产生真正的触动。所以，一些所谓的感人的教育我们要乐观向上的故事，对我们来讲顶多只能产生几秒钟的悸动。或者在读完故事的那一刻，我们会对自己说：“我一定要乐观向上，比我悲惨的人多的是，别人都可以这样做，我为什么不可以？”然而当自己遇到一点小小的挫折时，就迈不过那个槛，当初的“山盟海誓”早已忘得一干二净。唯有让他亲眼目睹别人的真实状况，甚至和当事人聊天，他才会在那一刻真正的成熟坚强起来。
Human is indeed a strange creature. Seldom do we believe any stories in novel or magazines and perceive them as fictional. Not until we witness it with our own eyes will we generate real emotion. Therefore, some so-called moving and enlightening stories can only exert an impact on us for a few seconds. Maybe right after reading the story, we would say to ourselves like this: “I should be optimistic, because there are many people who are more tragic than me but they can still be optimistic. So why can’t I ?” However, when we come across a tiny setback, we can barely overcome it. The initial oath seems to be forgotten downright. Only when we witness some miserable people’s authentic situation and even chat with them will we become truly mature and strong.
其实我也一样。我也有悲痛过，然而一想起你的事情，我就觉得我的那些所谓“痛苦”，其实是庸人自扰。突然发现，从前的我做了很多傻事，为了不值得的人付出了很多很多，为了一些不必要的人和事流了很多泪水，然而自从你发病以来，我再也没有这样做。你和我说，有些事情看淡了甚至忘记了，后面的人生才能继续。我当时在想，忘记过去有这么容易吗？然而你说，正是因为不容易所以才值得我们追求。你还说，如果为了一个真正爱你的人你可以付出所有，但是为了一个不值得你爱的人，你不会做片刻的停留。只有我明白你说这句话时内心有多痛，我也把你这句话永远地记在脑海里。每次去看望你回来，我都觉得生命愈加珍贵，我就愈加珍惜每一天！
It is the same with me. I’ve also felt sad some time, but when I think of you, I will regard those “sad matters” as nothing to feel sad about. All of a sudden, I came to realize that I have done a lot of stupid things in the past, sacrificed a lot for some people who did not deserve my sacrifice and teared a lot for some unneccessary matters. However, since you fell ill, I have not done it again. You told that only by forgetting the past unhappy memories can we continue our life. I was thinking then: is it so easy to forget the past? But you told me, “That is the reason why we want to pursue it!” You also told me you can sacrifice everything for someone who truly loves you, but you will not wait even a second for someone who does not deserve your love. It is me who can truly understand how painful you felt at speaking this sentence. And I will enshrine it in my mind forever. Every time I went to see you, I felt life to be more precious!
你最近一直在问我出国的事弄得怎样，真的非常感谢你在这种状况下还关心我的事情。其实你有没有发现，我和你聊天时一般都不涉及学习的事情，我也很少和你谈起我今后的打算和计划。你知道为什么吗？因为我不想刺激你，我怕你一看到别的同龄人都正在开始自己的事业，而自己却面临生命的困境而感到悲伤。然而后来我才明白，你的气度是远超过我的想像的。一个老师曾经和我们说过：一个人的气度决定了他思想的高度。所以我明白，我的气度不如你。然而你听了却对我说：不对，这正说明了你很会顾及别人的感受。
You kept asking me about my overseas study recently. I feel considerably grateful for your great concern about me when you are still in an awful situation. I do not know whether you’ve felt it or not that I seldom talk about study or my future plan with you. Do you know why? It is because I do not want to stimulate you negatively. I am afraid that when you think that your peers are embarking on this career while you are in danger of life, you will feel terribly grief-stricken. But later I knew that your bearing is far beyond my imagination. One of my teachers has ever told me that one’s bearing decides the height of his thinking. So I know that my bearing is less than yours. Whereas, you said to me, “No, it indicates you are a guy who knows to consider others’ feelings.”
非常抱歉，因为各种各样的事情，每次去看望你都只能呆一会儿就走了。现在更加走不开，因为要办很多签证的材料，所以只能晚上有空时和你电话聊聊。你交待我的事情我都记在脑里了，你不用有任何后顾之忧，你也不用谢我，我想这是我能够为你做的最后的事情，同时我也为你的良苦用心和远见感到衷心的敬佩！
I feel terribly sorry that I could only stay with you for a short while due to my intensive schedule. Now I can hardly go to see you because I have to prepare tons of materials for a visa. I can only chat with you at night. All the things you told me to do have been living in my mind now, and you should not feel worried. Nor should you feel thankful to me. It is the only thing I can do for you now. Also, I admire wholeheartedly your kind and considerate heart as well as your great vision. |
