给与，让你我相连
In Giving I Connect with Others
I have lived with passion and in a hurry, trying to accomplish too many things. I never had time to think about my beliefs until my 28-year-old daughter Paula fell ill. She was in a coma for a year and I took care of her at home, until she died in my arms in December of 1992.
我总是生活在激情和匆忙之中，想做太多的事。直到我28岁的女儿保拉（Paula）病倒，我才抽出时间去思考我的信仰。她昏迷了整整一年，我在家照料她，直到1992年12月，她在我怀中死去。
During that year of agony and the following year of my grieving, everything stopped for me. There was nothing to do -- just cry and remember. However, that year also gave an opportunity to reflect upon my journey and the principles that hold me together. I discovered that there is consistency in my beliefs, my writing and the way I lead my life. I have not changed, I am still the same girl I was fifty years ago, and the same young woman I was in the seventies. I still lust for life, I am still ferociously independent, I still crave justice and I fall madly in love easily.
在那一年的痛苦和接下来整整一年的悲恸中，我生活中的一切都停止了。我什么都不做——只是哭泣和回忆。然而，这一年也使我得以回顾走过的人生，思考那些支撑我的信念。我发现我的信念原则、我的作品风格和我的生活方式是一贯的。我没有改变，我仍然是五十年前那个女孩，仍然是七十年代那个姑娘。我仍然渴望真正的生活，仍然保持极端的独立，仍然追求正义，仍然轻易地陷入热恋之中。
Paralyzed and silent in her bed, my daughter Paula taught me a lesson that is now my mantra: You only have what you give. It's by spending yourself that you become rich.
瘫痪在床、昏迷不醒的女儿教会我并使我坚信的是：给予什么，就拥有什么。只有付出能使人富有。
Paula led a life of service. She worked as a volunteer helping women and children, eight hours a day, six days a week. She never had any money, but she needed very little. When she died she had nothing and she needed nothing. During her illness I had to let go of everything: her laughter, her voice, her grace, her beauty, her company and finally her spirit. When she died I thought I had lost everything. But then I realized I still had the love I had given her. I don't even know if she was able to receive that love. She could not respond in any way, her eyes were somber pools that reflected no light. But I was full of love and that love keeps growing and multiplying and giving fruit.
女儿的一生都在付出。她是一个帮助妇女和儿童的志愿者，风雨无阻。她没有多少收入，但她所求甚少。在她去世的时候，一无所有，她也一无所求。在她卧床期间，我眼睁睁地看着她的一切都离我远去：她的笑貌，她的音容，她的婉约，她的娇美，她的陪伴，甚至她的灵魂。当她去世的时候，我以为我已经一无所有了。可是后来我意识到，我仍然拥有我给予她的爱。我甚至不知道那个时候她能否感受到我的爱。她无法作出任何反应，她的双眼就像浑浊的水潭，没有一丝光泽。但我心中充满了爱，这种爱生生不息，开花结果。
The pain of losing my child was a cleansing experience. I had to throw overboard all excess baggage and keep only what is essential. Because of Paula, I don't cling to anything anymore. Now I like to give much more than to receive. I am happier when I love than when I am loved. I adore my husband, my son, my grandchildren, my mother, my dog, and frankly I don't know if they even like me. But who cares? Loving them is my joy.
失去爱女之痛对我而言是一种净化。我必须剔除那些无谓的累赘，留下生命的精髓。因为女儿，我不再是那个什么事情都放不下的人。如今，我希望给予甚于受赠。爱人比被爱更让我欣喜。我爱丈夫，爱儿子，爱孙子，爱母亲，爱我的狗。说实话，我甚至不知道他们是不是喜欢我。但我不在乎，爱他们我就很开心。
Give, give, give -- what is the point of having experience, knowledge or talent if I don't give it away? Of having stories if I don't tell them to others? Of having wealth if I don't share it? I don't intend to be cremated with any of it! It is in giving that I connect with others, with the world and with the divine.
给予，给予，给予——如果不彰显，那些经验、学识和天赋有何意义？如果不讲述，那些经历过的故事有何意义？如果不分享，那些财富又有何意义？我可不打算将这些带进棺材。在给予中，我与他人紧紧相连，与世界紧紧相连，与上帝紧紧相连。
It is in giving that I feel the spirit of my daughter inside me, like a soft presence.
在给予中，我仿佛感到女儿的灵魂悄悄地醒来，与我紧紧相连..
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大耳朵编辑：第八号当铺
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