昨晚我们班在Jayne的house里开班集party, 来了二十几个同学. 本来我是想和我们班的中国学生Nancy还有Jacky去的, 可是他们后来都说不去. 透过窗户, 我望见外面淅淅沥沥地下着雨, 而且刮着很大的风, 所以我也好像不太想去. 后来Michael发信息问我到不到场, 我说我可能不去了, 因为没有人和我一起去. 他就一直试图说服我要去, 还说亲自开车来接我. 我仔细想想, 上次班集的聚会由于天气太冷我已经没有参加了, 这次如果又不参加好像不太好. 而且更重要的是平时大家都各忙各的学习, 很少机会交流, 所以这次的party是一个很难得的机会, 可以和大家建立更好的友谊. 后来就答应了Michael, 决定参加party.
接近十点时, Michael开车到了我宿舍楼下, 打电话叫我下去. 不一会儿我们就到了Jayne的家了. 一进去, 发现屋里已经来了好多同学. 他们一看到我就向我打招呼, 说终于看到我来了. Martina一看到我, 就给了我一个大大的拥抱, 高兴地说: “Edison, it is so great to see you attend the party!” 其实也是的, 每次班里有活动我都是有事, 要么就是天气超冷我不想出去, 结果大家很少看到我. 现在突然看到我现身了, 自然就觉得很惊奇.
在party上, 我和大家聊得很开心. 有些同学平时接触不多并不熟悉, 然而经过这次的聚会, 大家彼此都熟悉起来. Adam和Michael一直在灌我喝啤酒, 结果我整整喝了四瓶, 喝得有点晕. 十一点多时, 我们乘Taxi去了附近的一个club, 由于当时夜色太黑而且刮风下雨的, 我没看清那个club的名字. 一进去就听到响彻云霄的摇滚音乐, 七彩的灯光下, 好多人在中间跳舞, 也有不少人在喝东西, 并且静静地看着中间一大群舞动的身影. 当时我喝得已经有点醉了, 走路也好像轻飘飘的, 在五光十色的环境里, 我觉得有点意乱情迷, 刚好Paul又把我拉到中间, 然后一堆不认识的老外又围上来, 不停地跳舞, 结果我也兴奋地跳起来, 虽然我也不知道我跳的是哪门子的舞, 我只记得旁边不停地有人向我拍手吹哨的. 最后我们班的人都全在跟着音乐兴奋地跳起来, 那种感觉真的可以让人彻底放松, 暂时忘记所有的烦恼. 不过这种场合我还是不喜欢常去, 因为觉得太喧嚣了, 连说句话也要对着别人的耳朵大喊, 我有点受不了. 我玩到两点多就和大家Say goodbye回宿舍了, 有些同学玩到四五点才走. 今天早上一觉醒来, 觉得仍然有点头晕. 不过昨晚还是很开心的!
其实刚开始觉得很难融入到这些外国学生当中去. 虽然说大家是同一个班而且经常上课可以碰面, 但是心里总是有一种抗拒感, 不太想和他们呆在一起, 大概是彼此都有文化差距和思维差异的缘故. 其实也不止我是如此, 有些中国来的学生可能比我更严重, 他们由于本身外语不太好, 特别是口语, 经常想表达什么东西都表达不出来, 所以一和老外接触感觉压力很大, 不敢开口说话. 久而久之, 他们就会慢慢地把自己和外国学生完全分立开来, 就算在路上碰面了也不想多聊几句, 只是打个招呼就完事了.
刚开始我也有这种趋势, 特别是在经历了那些冗长而且低效率的小组讨论以后, 我更加对外国学生有一种排斥感. 可是不久我就发现这样是不行的. 有时自己一个人时, 我会静静地想: 我这样把自己和别人分立起来好吗? 我出国的目的是什么? 后来我想通了: 如果你平时不常和老外多接触, 不和他们常聚常聊, 那你和在中国读书是没有区别的. 我们现在看的英语文章, 在中国也可以找到类似的资料来读. 来这边读书,除了学习书本的知识外, 学习不同国家的人的文化以及风格习惯也很重要. 以后出来社会工作了, 我们也有很大机会接触到不同国家的人, 如果我们平时有意识地锻炼和不同国家的人打交道的能力, 那么以后在工作中就会游刃有余, 而不会显得惊谎失措, 我们才可以真正成为一个global person. 这才是出国读书的真正目的! 不然出了国和没出国根本没有什么区别, 反而花了很多冤枉钱!
另外, 在现实生活中, 你越想逃避某个群体, 你就会越显得孤立, 最后你会倍感艰辛与压抑, 只想快点在这里读完书, 快点回国. 刚开始我就是有这个想法的. 然而现在, 随着和同学们的交流加深, 我反而慢慢喜欢起这个地方来, 而且有点想毕业后留下来工作了. 一想起毕业后回国, 在工作中和不同的中国人打交道, 我突然觉得有点力不从心, 因为我觉得好像要在瞬间转换所有的思维模式和行为模式. 说实话, 虽然老外也有好人和坏人, 但是总体来讲, 老外的思想是比中国人单纯一点的, 所以在和他们说话时我们不用过多地察言观色, 不用忌讳太多的东西, 只要按正常的礼貌来表达自己的意思即可. 我一直认为, 当你害怕进行某种行为而逃避这种行为, 但这种行为又对你有好处的话, 你应该重新调整自己的心态, 勇敢地去接受它, 不然你只会让自己陷入无奈与迷茫之中. 好比我们来爱尔兰的每个中国同学都明白, 我们必须要融入到当地学生中, 必须要多和他们交流来提高我们的语言能力还有认知水平, 但是由于文化差异以及外语能力的限制, 我们却不断地躲避和外国学生交流, 这样就会形成一个恶性循环, 让自己深陷牢宠之中, 愈发孤单与无助. 有时踏出第一步虽然很难, 但是只要你踏出去了, 你就会发现事情没有你想的那么困苦. 这或许验证了我们曾经学过的文言文>里的一句话: 天下事有难易乎? 为之则难者亦易矣, 不为则易者亦难矣; 人之为学有难易乎? 学之则难者亦易矣, 不学则易者亦难矣!”
没有过不去的坎
作者: 来自文章阅读网
译者: 爱尔兰UCD 赖小琪
人的承受能力，其实远远超过我们的想象，就像不到关键时刻，我们很少能认识到自己的潜力有多大。
Our tolerating ability is indeed way beyond our imagination. But not until the very critical moment will we realize our potential tolerating ability.
有这样一位农村妇女，她18岁的时候结婚，26岁赶上日本人侵略中国，在农村进行大扫荡，她不得不经常带着两个女儿一个儿子东躲西藏。村里很多人受不了这种暗无天日的折磨，想到了自尽，她得知后就会去劝：“别这样啊，没有过不去的坎，日本鬼子不会总这么猖狂的。”
There was a woman in the countryside who got married at the age of 18 and had to escape with her two daughters and a son wherever she could at the age of 26 due to the Japanese army’s invasion. Many people in the village at that time could not bear the suffering of being a fugitive and wanted to commit suicide. After she knew about it, she would come to those people and soothed them by saying, “Don’t do that silly thing. There are no such setbacks that we could not overcome. The Japanese armies are bound to be foiled one day!”
她终于熬到了把鬼子赶出中国的那一天，可是她的儿子却在那炮火连天的岁月里，由于缺医少药，又极度缺乏营养，因病夭折了。丈夫不吃不喝在床上躺了两天两夜，她流着泪对丈夫说：“咱们的命苦啊，不过再苦咱也得过啊，儿子没了，咱再生一个，人生没有过不去的坎。”
Finally she insisted until the day when all the Japanese armies were kicked out of China. Nonetheless, her son died of disease without sufficient medicine and nutrition in those days of hardships. Her husband, after knowing the death of his son, lay in bed for two days without eating and drinking anything. She teared to her husband and said, “We have a tough destiny, but however tough our lives will be, we should also persist. Though our son has passed away, we can have another. There are no such setbacks that we could not overcome.”
刚刚生了儿子，丈夫因患水肿病离开了人世。在这个打击下，她很长时间都没回过神来，但最后还是挺过来了，她把三个未成年的孩子揽到自己怀里，说：“娘还在呢，有娘在，你们就别怕。”
After giving birth to the second son, her husband died of edema, which almost blew her away. But eventually, she recovered and cuddled the three young children, saying, “My sweet hearts, don’t feel scared. You still have me, your dear mum!”
她含辛茹苦地把孩子一个个拉扯大了，生活也慢慢好转起来。两个女儿嫁了人，儿子也结了婚。她逢人便乐呵呵地说：“我说吧，没有过不去的坎，现在生活多好啊。”她年纪大了，不能下地干活，就在家纳鞋底，做衣服，缝缝补补。
It took her painstaking efforts to raise her children up and the life of her family was getting better and better. Two daughters were married and so was his son finally. She said to everyone she met, “Look! What I said is absolutely right. There are no such setbacks that we could not overcome! My life is so happy now!” She was aging gradually and could not do the farm work any more. So she stayed at home and did some stitching work.
可是，上苍似乎并不眷顾这位一生坎坷的妇女，她在照看孙子时不小心摔断了腿，由于年纪太大做手术危险，就一直没有做手术，她每天只能躺在床上。儿女们都哭了，她却说：“哭什么，我还活着呢。”
Nevertheless, the Heaven seemed to show no affection to her who had undergone a rough life. She got her leg broken accidentally when she was nursing her grandson. Due to her old age that posed a great risk to her operation, she did not receive operation and had to lie in bed all day long. Her children all cried heavily, while she merely said, “Why do you cry? I am still living.”
即便下不了床，她也没有怨天尤人，而是坐在床上做针线活。她会织围巾，会绣花，会编手工艺品，左邻右舍的人都夸她手艺好，还来跟她学艺。
Even though she could not rise from bed, she did not complain about anything and anybody. Instead, she sat on the bed and did some stitching work. She had learnt scarves-weaving, broidery, crafts-making, etc. All her neighbors spoke highly of her skills and came to learn from her.
她活到86岁，临终前，她对自己儿女们说：“都要好好过啊，没有过不去的坎。”
She lived until 86. Before she went to Heaven, she said to her children, “You all should live to your best. There are no such setbacks that we could not overcome!”
人总是在遭遇一次重创之后，才会幡然醒悟，重新认识自己的坚强和坚忍。所以，无论你正在遭遇什么磨难，都不要一味抱怨上苍不公平，甚至从此一蹶不振。人生没有过不去的坎，只有过不去的人。
We will only get to realize our own iron will and strong tolerating ability after getting stricken heavily. Therefore, no matter what you are suffering from now, do not merely complain about the unfairness of our destiny and maintain low-spirited all the time. There are no such setbacks that we could not overcome. Only those who have no confidence and courage to overcome setbacks will be defeated at last! |
