今天中午和都柏林大学的招生官Gillian在学校餐厅吃饭. 其实我们上周五已经约好一点钟我到他的办公室找他一起吃午饭的了. 于是快到一点时, 我到了Reception Desk叫那个坐柜台的服务员通知一下Gillian, 说我到了. 正当那个服务员要打电话去叫他出来时, Gillian匆匆忙忙地提着公文包半跑进来, 有点喘不过气. 他一进来就和我说: “Sorry, Edison! I am almost late! How are you?” 我笑着对他说: “No Problem! Actually you do not need to rush here coz I understand that you are very busy! Being a bit late is not a problem for me.” 可是他的回答让我吓了一跳: “No, it is not good to be late. I know that you like people to be prompt for the meeting and appointment.” 天啊, 那是我上学期和他见面时说过的一句话, 他居然还记得这么清楚. 当时我和他聊天时, 他问我对这边的学习感觉如何, 我就随便抱怨了一下爱尔兰的学生非常不守时, 经常开会迟到. 结果, 今天他就拼命赶回来. 看到他气喘吁吁的样子, 我感到又感动又好笑. 我和他说, 下次迟到也没关系, 要是实在会迟到太多, 提前给个电话我就行了,我可以晚点来.
和他到了学校饭堂, 我们都点了一个牛肉沙拉套餐, 然后就坐下来边吃边聊了. 我们聊了很多东西, 从学习聊到工作, 再聊到一些经济, 政治还有文化等话题. 后来不知怎么地就聊到这里的中国学生. 他和我说, 他听一些老师反映, 很多中国学生在这里学习都遇到很大困难, 特别是语言的困难, 因此他们上课都不太积极, 而且和当地学生以及别的国家的学生都有一种隔离的倾向. 他问我情况是不是这样, 如果是, 为什么. 我听完他的话, 当时就有点无所适从, 因为他讲的的确是实话. 于是, 我就和他说情况的确如此, 而且有些学生不太友好, 所以中国学生也不太愿意和他们交往. 他就语重心长地对我说, 叫我千万不要什么事都独来独往, 把自己和外国学生孤立起来, 要多和他们沟通, 多参加他们的活动. 他后来说的一句话让我当场忍不住哈哈大笑. 他说, 凭他这么多年的经验来看, 一个中国学生, 他越和别的中国学生呆得越多, 他的英文就会越差, 因为他从早到晚都在讲中文, 没有语言环境. 我想不到Gillian会对我们中国学生的情况这么熟悉的, 真的让我刮目相看. 因为在我眼里, 我一直觉得很多老师不关注中国学生的状况的. 不过他转而又说, 他觉得他对我的担心是多余的, 因为他相信我和别的中国学生不同, 个性很开放, 很容易融入人群之中, 而且他觉得我的英语 “super good”. 这最后的赞叹真的让我既高兴, 又多少有点汗颜.
后来我们聊到了英语这门语言, 他问我以前是怎么学英语的, 可以把这门非母语的语言学得这么好. 我突然想起了一个问题, 就问他: “Did you learn grammar when you were studying in primary school?” 他说, 爱尔兰学生一般不怎么学语法的, 只是老师上课时会提到一下. 他说, 他们不需要学语法, 因为语法从他们小时候起就在纯语言的环境中被潜移默化地灌输进去了, 所以他们在讲话和写作中不知不觉地也就会遵从语法规则, 就好比我们说中文和写中文一样. 我突然有点恍然大悟, 同时也想起前一段时间我就几个单词的用法不太明了, 请了词典也不确定, 去请教我们班的一个当地女生. 当我讲到语法, 像及物和不及物动词时, 她居然和我说: “Sorry, I don’t know what you are talking about.” 她说她不知道什么叫及物和不及物, 我当场差点晕了过去. 现在想想, 语法不是为他们准备的, 是为我们中国学生准备的.
Gillian转而又说, 中国学生学外语一定要学语法, 因为很多老师反映学生写的作业里普遍都有很多语法毛病, 读起来很不顺. 我当时听了忍不住想: 天啊, 看来中国学生在这边的老师和同学眼里, 不说别的, 单是学习方面, 已经是 “不太行”了. 难怪有些外国学生都不怎么理会中国学生, 甚至多多少少有点鄙视的意味. 每次上课, 我几乎都会听到老师提到中国的经济情况, 说中国的经济发展有多快多好, 还老是说现在全世界都在盯着中国的市场, 那里有很多机遇. 每当这时候, 我都会为自己是中国人而感到特别自豪. 然而回归到学习, 回归到我们的外语水平, 我多多少少会感到有点失落. 至今为止, 听力仍然多多少少是我的一个障碍, 尽管经过我不断地努力已经改善很多了. 在这里我特别佩服印度人. 我认识的三个印度学生, 虽然说口语不怎样, 发音不准, 可是他们的听力真的很强. 他们真的几乎完全可以听懂老师和学生的讲话. 这点我真的自愧不如! 另外认识的一个在读MBA的印度学生, 他居然托福考了115(总分120), GMAT 760(总分800)! 难怪他申请到了全额奖学金来这边. 这些真可谓是印度牛人啊!
和Gillian聊了一个多小时才分开. 分开前, 他和我握手说, 以后有什么事需要他帮忙的, 一定要找他, 不用客气. 真的让我非常感动. 总之这次聊天让我感触良多. 一方面我受到了很大的鼓励, 对自己的未来充满希望; 另一方面, 我也感到了很沉重的压力感和紧迫感. 我觉得自己很多方面都很不足, 需要好好提高. 同时, 我也感觉前面有很多挑战, 需要我一一克服. 不管怎样, 我现在最重要的就是把剩下这几个月的学习弄好, 好好利用剩下的时间进一步提高自己. 等到八月课程结束时, 我想, 到时回望过去这一年, 我也可以无悔了! 如果在某段时间过去以后, 你可以说出 “无悔” 二字, 我想你已经做到最好了! 我相信, 来爱尔兰的这一年将会深刻地改变我一生的命运!
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别人的婚姻理论
Marriage Theory
原文：选自美文网
译者：爱尔兰都柏林大学 赖小琪
虽然有＂旁观者清，当局者迷＂的说法，但是别人有关婚姻的任何说法，也都只能作为参考，而不能轻易选择一种去付诸实施，那样做的结果会让你与幸福擦肩而过．
Though one saying goes that “the onlooker sees the game best”, other people’s philosophies about marriage are just for your reference and you should not be so impetuous to follow them. Otherwise, you may lose the happiness you deserve.
他俩又吵架了，结婚３年来，这到底是第几次，谁也不记得了．
They were quarrelling again. No one could remember how many times they had quarreled for the three years since they married.
从第一次吵架，小青心里就隐约闪现过”离婚＂两个字，只是她听说，幸福之家是吵架声比邻居低一些的家庭，因此才没把这点小别扭放在心上．
Since the first quarrel, “divorce” had flashed through Xiaoqing’s mind from time to time. However, she did not care too much about the quarrel because she heard that the so-called happy family is the one that quarrels less severely than the unhappy one.
可这一次不一样，小青已经找到了离婚的依据．那天晚上，他俩开始了吵架后的冷战，在咬牙切齿和无所适从中，她从床上摸起一本杂志，发现上面有这么一句话；专家说，一栋因地基没打牢而出现裂痕的房子，你是修补还是拆掉？一桩有裂痕的婚姻，你是维持还是摧毁? 修补濒于破裂的婚姻比推毁它要困难得多．
But it was different this time. Xiaoqing has already got the clues for divorce. That night they started a cold war after a quarrel. Feeling irritated and kind of embarrassed, she grasped a book at random from the bed and noticed a sentence—some specialist says "in face of a house cracked for its unstable foundation, do you choose to repair it or destroy it? Facing a broken marriage, do you choose to maintain it or conclude it? It is much more difficult to rebuild a failed marriage than to conclude it.
小青恍然大悟：危房确实应该拆除而不必再作修补的．
It suddenly dawned on Xiaoqing that a damaged house should actually be destroyed rather than be repaired
没过多久，他俩又吵架了，这次她把＂离婚＂二字明明白白地提了出来，并且坚决地到法院递了诉状，因为这桩婚姻已是一栋危房．
Before long, they quarreled again. She seriously proposed "divorce "this time and was determined to submit the proposal to the court, Because she thought their marriage was a broken house now.
在等待的日子里，小青百无聊赖．别人下班回家，她在办公室翻看报纸，从报纸上看到一段话：专家说，婚姻是一件瓷器，做起来困难，打碎很容易，然而收拾好满地的碎片却是件不易的事．
In the days of waiting the result, Xiaoqing felt very bored. When others went back home after work, she was flipping through newspaper in her office. All of a sudden, a sentence in the newspaper drew her attention—some specialist says,” marriage is like porcelain that is difficult to make but easy to break. However, to clean up the messy broken pieces and bits is even more troublesome.
小青的心好像被鞭子轻轻地抽了一下，在婚后的３年里，丈夫的习性，嗓音和喜好，都已深深地烙在心中．如果分离，这些记忆的碎片她该如何清理
At that moment, Xiaoqing's heart seemed to be lightly whipped. For the past three years after marriage, her husband's habits and hobbies as well as his voice had been deeply branded in her mind. If they were apart eventually, how could she totally forget all the memories they shared?
小青一下子糊涂了，她真不知危房理论和瓷器说哪一个更正确．第二天，她悄悄地跑到法院把离婚诉状要了回来，她要想清楚再说．
Xiaoqing became puzzled suddenly and had no clue which was more correct between the “broken house theory” and the “porcelain theory” in terms of her marriage. The next day, she slipped to the court to withdraw her divorce petition. She wanted to think twice before making the final decision
小青几乎被这些理论弄糊涂了．当她不由自主地走回家时，丈夫已虚门等待。她倒在丈夫怀里，什么话也不想说，任泪水似肆意地流淌。第二天，她就把那份报纸连同那本杂志扔进了垃圾箱，她觉得她已不需要任何婚姻理论了。
Xiaoqing was actually confused by these theories. When she unconsciously came back home, her husband was waiting for her. Without any words but flooding tears, she threw herself into her husband’s arms. The next day, she threw both the newspaper and the magazine into the litter box. She knew that she did not need any marriage theory any longer. |
